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See Current contributions.
See Feb 09 contributions.
See Jan 09 contributions.
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Wed Mar 4 14:08:01 2009
F26 in hesperia, california =usa=
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Found us by: [ Class Project of: ]
my teacher gave us the links
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Prof/Studies: medical psychology
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 21 Years ago.
Cause of Death: murder; Aged: 35.
--Details:
my father was in the system and was killed in his prison cell for
what reason i dont knoew and dont ever care to know
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--Death Is:
it is when someone takes the very last air that you breath or it is
time for you to depart from this earth and go on to be wit your maker
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was a very small child it wa my father i just knew he was not coming
home ever again
--That first time, how it happened was
my father was killed in prison when i was a week away from my 5
th bday
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
when my best friends were all killed within a year of each other i
have had alot of death in my life as far as family and friends so
it is now just an issue that i realize that happens
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
im glad that the culture i was born into and i know understand that
life and death happen and it is by the grace of god that i can now
dael with it
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
that who ever has left and has been taken is now with athe Lord
our God amen
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
it has ben with my prayer and with my friends that know my spirtual
connection with god and i have peace that who ever has departed is
with our maker
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the fact of being selfish and never gonna see or spend time with
that person again or all the things you nebver got to say
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
let that person know it is ok and that they are loved and if it
time to go to go be the lord
--[My Aunt's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
when she passed i had a since a calmness in the end becauase i knew
she was at peace wit the Lord
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
im really not sure
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
i was confussed and hurt and trying to hide my feelings
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say i love you more and spend all the days with who ever i lost
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
have the time i did spend
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
the food and the next paln for the family
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
the whole family getting together
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
when i want to talk to that person or just random thoughts of what
i wish i could show or tell that person
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
maybe my whole world would have been differnet
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
why did this happen to me to them to all of us
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
just cry and and cry and gide wish that it will just all go away
and it would be all a dream
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
shocked and lost all the reason and was beyound hurt
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
not much in all situations
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
it was not
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
that i know that the Lord our god is alive in us and the loved one
i lost id now with him
--Religious Affiliation:
christian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
i believe in god but in a since that things dont make since and
its not fair but know that that person no longer suffers
--Regarding MONEY:
to pay for the cost of the funeral
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
the gathering all of who loved them
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
letting go and wlking away
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
just the fact of going for help
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
dealing and not feeling guilty
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
god was there in us
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
and we all believe so that all the sign that was needed
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How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Nothing at all
going on with life with out a father
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? My Belief System
understanding that god is the reason for al things in life and in
death and he is our maker and taker
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Fri Mar 6 20:25:45 2009
F18 in Apple Valley, California =United States of America=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
Questionarre is apart of a college term project.
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Prof/Studies: Student
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 6 Years ago.
Cause of Death: disease; Aged: 70+.
--Details:
He didn't know who anyone was.
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--Death Is:
spiritual. For most religions it is suppose to be a happy occasion,
where one
of your loved one is joining a better place closer to
god, and we should all
remember the good memories not the bad,
the things he or she left behind
and rejoice of the time we
could spend not the time that will never be
anymore. But, over
shadowing everything good death becomes a much
darker place then
anything. It can make you very bitter, especially if someone
close
to you dies at a young age, or murdered, came up with a sickness.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
It felt unreal.
--That first time, how it happened was
My grandfather had become very ill, ever since I've been alive he
had always
needed some extra care. About, 12 years of my life he
had been in a
convulecent home because my grandmother could not
take care of him
herself. He came ill with dimensia and never
was the same again, he became
very frail and didn't look like
himself at all, he passed at seventy some years
old.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
My mother being the most emotional, and hurt.
--What I think my (United States of America) culture needs to better learn about death is:
It's a cycle that is necessary for man kind to live on.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I am grateful for my grandpa being a wonderful man, and now he is
in heaven
waiting for us all to join him in heaven as well. Giving
me life because him I
would not be here.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
My family support, and strong structure kept me standing strong.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Knowing I would never see my grandpa again.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Show that you have appreciated them just being there for you as
much as they
could, you love them and let them know they left
goodness and their own dent
in the world in you which will be
carried on by your children.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I touched the dead body, there was no one there anymore, the person
I knew is
in a different form .
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
See my grandfather more often. Because, I don't have a grandfather
any longer.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be strong.
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How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Support Group
Older family members giving more encouraging words.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Keeping Busy
I was occupied with school and friends.
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Tue Mar 10 20:18:58 2009
M57 in tahoe city, ca =usa=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: building/tech
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More personal info:
I'm grateful the universe has provided a path to find your website.
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
tibetan book of living and dying, heart sutra, diamond sutra,
lotus sutra, teaching of bodhi dharma,
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of dog, 1/23/09 Weeks ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 71/2yrs.
--Details:
slowly over one year, then accelerated last two weeks
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--Death Is:
life force that animates the body leaves the body for various
reasons. body ceases and returns to five elements earth water
air fire
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was curious
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
feelings. dealing with thought that the person was completly off
the planet for ever
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
acceptance. no life without death
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the lessons learned about impermanence. coming and going never
ceases in my mind. it does cease when i merge with tao and foget
about tao and be tao
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
teachings of buddhism and tao
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
loosing best friend that shared every moments with eachother. knew
each other. no one knew me like him. i cared for him from the moment
of his birth till his last breath. i could not fix him. he depended
on me and i could not help him any longer.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
stay present and focused on the dying person every moment. no
personal judgment about their beliefs or actions.
--[My dog's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
accept that our paths will cross again. it was love that he taught
me at my age of 57. never knew it before. when spirits cross paths
same love is there.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
i layed with him for two days after his death. did he know i was
there . was he scared? was he confused? was it painful when i burried
him and he had to completely seperaye from his body? will he follow
me and choose rebirth to be with me again?
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
i never did laugh
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
relieve his suffering sooner than i did, i was too attached and
contributed or added to his suffering,
allow him all the time
he wanted to smell around at things before i walked through the
door of the vets
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
recognize that he was telling me it was time now to leave even
though neither one of us wanted to let go.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
his releif from pain at the instant of death
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
driving him to the vet to end his life
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
go to places i used to take him. still see his tracks in some places,
i look for them
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
he would come to work with me every day and never have to be away
from me. he loved me so much
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
yes especially in regards to his age and cancer
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
end my life
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
stay positive to help in directing their journey
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
i am grateful for the medicine and herbs that helped to relieve
his suffering
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
n/a
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
no organized religion for me. not christian or believe in any
sky gods
--Religious Affiliation:
buddhism/Taoism
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
grateful for dharma teachings of impermanence, twelve interdependence
links, four noble truths- there is suffering, there is end of
suffering there is the path/practice
--Regarding MONEY:
no issue
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
I burried him myself after ywo days
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
change in daily routine
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
water goes first, body (earth) next, temp (fire) then air is the
last togo
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
self blame was worse. still do not know outcome of my lack to
forgive myself
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
none
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
out of body experience. did not eat or sleep for three days after
it. 14 years ago. changed mylife forever to this day. not enough
room to explain but had to do with total darkness with a pulsing
sound that vibrated my whole body. appearance of three pastel
colored rings. each ring had distinct tone/color. when they passed
over one another different chords would sound. three came togather
extraordinary tone loud, heavenly/pulsing.voice told me "this is
sound of universe,everything has vibration, you have it see you are
it, it is you always there, always present. i felt it and heard it
for 2 weeks. still can feel it during meditation
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
hope he forgives me for last few days of suffering. even though i
held him for last 48 hours i should have let him go sooner. he was
depending on me. i let him down
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
----cry---cry--tears---sorry
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
no
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
mention no ideologies or fundamental religious beliefs
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
i already know that i will die soon
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
saw things faster and different than most. was not a "normee" did not
have enough time to explore all the cultures of interest. respected
all that crossed his path. worked his lifetime to repair damage to
his being created at age 20 during a war.lived with demons and no
drug or alcohols as buffers between him and reality.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
keep oil lamp burning on grave for last 45 days 4 days to go. stay
with kind loving thoughts to help guide him to auspicious rebirth
when he leaves bardo of becoming. meditate regularly to stay in
harmony with Tao.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
more present with everybody that crosses path
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
no
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How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Funeral and Rituals
never to cause a death
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Ability to Forget
became a soilder in vietnam war. kill or be killed
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
acknowledge my sorrow
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
most excellent in identifying all areas of emotions and surface
them thank you all!
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
no
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See Feb 09 contributions.
See Jan 09 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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