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See Current contributions.
See Dec 08 contributions.
See Nov 08 contributions.
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Fri Jan 9 23:20:42 2009
F42 in goiania, goias =brazil=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: student
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More personal info:
I was born in Brazil,but I live in mill valley ca usa
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 3 Days ago.
Cause of Death: heart problem; Aged: 81.
--Details:
She had lots of health problems ,but was doing fine,she woke up for
a walk,and
felt in the last 2 steps of her stairway,broke the
femur,had an operation,was
fine,suddenly,her heart stopped,she
went back to life,one day later she died.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
The lost of a loved one
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was 9 years old,and I lost my brother
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
How hard was to think I would never see him again.
--What I think my (brazil) culture needs to better learn about death is:
It is not conforting to see a inert body as a ritual.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
Death brings people together
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
going for walks and talking to family members.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The feeling of loss
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Never miss a moment to say how much you care and love that person
--[My Mother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Could think about the fact she needs prayers and good thoughts
right now
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I had to think about her going to a bardo
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
That happen to me when I was 14,in a friensds funeral,I think I
was stressed
out...
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Spent cristmas with her
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
sent her a letter few months ago teling her how much I loved her
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Bardo
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
Going to the funeral
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I think she is really not here anymore
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
Why she didn't wait for me
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
go back to last year
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Emotional,I cried,I miss her so much...
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
neutral
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
none
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
support
--Religious Affiliation:
catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
liberation
--Regarding MONEY:
funeral cost
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
I was not there
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
separation
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
heart failling
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
time is the best healling experience
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I experienced a very strong smell of candles,for a long time
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I think I was not a perfect daughter,however she knew I loved
her,I couldn't
imagine her not thinking that.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Mom,I love you so much and I am so proud I was born your
daughter,everything I did that has hurted you was not on purpose
and Iam
sooo sorry for all I have or not done that you did not
wanted me to,I want to
thank you for all you have done for me,you
are the most amazing person I
have ever met and for ever I will
care you in my heart just like a gem in my
heart.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I had one like this many years ago,a friend died of car accident,I
was in a
hospital at the time and coud not go to the funeral
service,I had a vivid dream
about her with a yellow dress and
she was telling me to tell her nany to take
good care of her
daughters because she was seeing everything,the following day
I
went to see her mother and everyone was spook out because she was
buried
with the yellow dress,and I had no idea...
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
My mom wanted to dye,she coud not see or ear very well,she was
always goig to
the hospital because of many health issues.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I think I should prepare myself to go through with understand to
avoid suffering
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Just live your life according to the good reasons in you,do to
others what you
wish to yourself,don't worry about accumulating
fortune,coffin does not have
drawers.HELP OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS
A THERAPY THAT WILL HAVE SPREAD
RESULTS AND end up helping you
the most.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Pray,talk my heart to her and cry
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
none
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
My sisters in law
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How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Crying and Crying
keep busy and realizing we all will go through death someday
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Keeping Busy
The fact i woud not see that person again
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I woud go see my family in my country and hugg my brothers and
my aunt.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Yes it got me to talk about
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
What do you think it is happening to the loved one that has just
left?
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Sat Jan 17 21:22:07 2009
F46 in Calhoun, Kentucky =United States=
Name: Linda
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: Nursing Student
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Bible
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Cousin, 30 Years ago.
Cause of Death: head trauma; Aged: 16.
--Details:
He was found alone not far from his house in Albuquerque, NM. He was
in a section leading into a large drainage ditch. There are these
large concrete barriers spaced out to keep rocks from getting into
the drainage ditch. It looked as if he possibly had been standing
on one, fell back & cracked his head open on one behind him.
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--Death Is:
The experiation of our outer shell.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
I fell like a part of me died too. I felt a little lost, and a
lot in disbelief.
--That first time, how it happened was
My cousin Freddie was found dead at age 16. His head was cracked
open on concrete block. Everyone likes to think it was an accident,
he was alone and fell backwards. But, in the back of everybody's
mind lays the thought that he wasn't alone and it wasn't an accident.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
My spanish teacher not understanding why her star pupil was no
longer interested in learning anything.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I was present when my Uncle Howard died. I loved him very much,
being there at his passing was sad but I was glad I was there to
hold his hand.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Time
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Age. I've known young, middle-aged, and old people to die. When old
people die, your happy for them. They've lived long lives, and now
they are home in heaven, back with their own parents, siblings, &
friends who have passed on before them. However, when a middle-aged
man or woman dies leaving behind children, you feel sadness for
their children. When a child dies, things are just out of order
in the universe.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Hold their hand. Talk to them. Tell them you love them and it's
okay, you will see them again.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
My 15 year old daughters best friend died during a heart surgery.
She had a latex allergy, and latex gloves were used during the
surgery. Why?
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
You often hear laughter at the saddest of funerals. It's a defense
mechanism. Either laugh or cry . . . take your pick.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
have learned to speak spanish before he died.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
I could be present for my Uncle Howard's death.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I get to thinking about Kara, my 15 year old daughter's best friend.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
when Kara died.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Disbelief. My cousin Freddie was my age. He had turned 16 only
the month before. This was supposed to that special year for
"us", we'd get our license and drive and get to start dating.
I felt like I lost a twin.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Nowing they were in a better place.
--Religious Affiliation:
Catholic
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
At a time when a family would feel like crawling under the covers and
locking the doors, they are expected to put on a "party". You have
to go shopping for clothes, and a casket, and make arrangements,
and be hospitable. When all you want to do is lock the door and
crawl under the covers.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I remember dreaming about my Grandparents once. It was a very
vivid dream. I remember feeling surprised and felt like crying
when I remembered the dream.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
It's not enough to have legal documents stating your wishes.
You need to talk with your family about your wishes and make sure
they are on board, because not to many doctors will go against the
wishes of the breathing family vs. the person who can't speak or
even think for themselves.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I don't think about my own death much, other than I have told several
people I do not want an open casket visitation. Put a lovely
picture of me out front, I want people to remember me that way.
I don't want every co-worker, neighbor, accuaintance walking past
commenting on "doesn't she look good?" When the truth is NOBODY
looks good in morgue make-up.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
I was a loving wife, mother, daughter & sister. I loved my family &
friends dearly. Life-long blood donor and United Way volunteer.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Pray
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How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
If you believe in God; then you believe death is a second birth.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Avoiding Everything
I went through a period where I just didn't care about school work
or anything, I was depressed.
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Sun Jan 18 17:36:27 2009
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Class Project of: ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
no
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
no
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Cousin, yes Years ago.
Cause of Death: accident; Aged: 18.
--Details:
no
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--Death Is:
The end to a long journey everyone of us have to face. what we have
done along the journey can reflect during our passing.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Having my future husband to lean on.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
compassion and time for healing.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
It helps end people's suffering
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
my husband
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
talking about it
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
The comfort of someone there holding your hand during a process we
all experience only once, is the right thing to do.
--[My Cousin's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
will always remember our times together.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
Nothing
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I knew everything was alright!
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Talk to her mom more maturely as I was quite young
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
cope
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
?
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
Clothes
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Remembering a nice moment together
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I do not think that way
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
She was too young
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
I am fine with it. She is at peace
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
cried
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
high regardsNA
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
NA
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Everything
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Either clean or dirty will come from the corpse.
--Regarding MONEY:
nothing. it went fine
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
We had a lot of good people who loved her dearly
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Knowing how strong my faith was
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
na
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
na
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Sleeping until the lord's second coming
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
I
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How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Distractions
Praying
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Nothing at all
no
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Thu Jan 29 03:18:42 2009
F32 in Boston, MA =United States =
Name: Jesika
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
just typed "the bardo" into google search engine
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Prof/Studies: study BuddhaDharma, working in retail currently
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Peaceful Death, Joyful Rebirth. Any copy of The Tibetan Book of
the Dead. Any book on emptyness...
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Tulku Thondrup
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 18 Years ago.
Cause of Death: brain tumor; Aged: 45.
--Details:
We have never been sure why he developed this tumor. He served in
the Vietnam War, and killed a lot of people as well as was exposed to
all sorts of harmful pesticides. He may have developed the tumor from
that, in either a gross way such as from the pesticides, or perhaps
it was negative karma coming to fruition? Or both...anyway!
The
last time I saw him alive was in a hospital with my mom. They had
gotten a divorce about a decade ago, but due to the recent surgery
the doctors had done on his brain, he could not remember that. It
was the last time I saw him alive.
Apparently he was put into a
home by his sisters and brothers, 12 of them in all. He lingered on
and on until he went into a coma and then died. There is a little
anger on my part over this; as my dad left a will stating that he
didn't want to lose his dignity, that if he was brain dead, then
he wanted to be let go. I am saddened that they didn't follow his
wishes, and since I was 14 at the time, AND didn't know about it,
I was powerless to help.
I was strong and showed a positive mind
at the wake and funeral. I don't know why, I was sad about it but not
especially so. It is only now, that I've had a lot of years without
my father, that I feel sorrow and other emotions over this. I wonder
where he is, I wonder if he could have overcome some of the mental
afflictions he suffering--such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,
as well as manic depression. And I just miss having a father,
wondering how different my life would be if he had lived.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Part of our natural cycle. When we die, out physical body no longer
functions, in fact, it decays at a rapid rate. Our mind departs the
body, and we don't know for sure where it goes. We make our best
guesses and theories and try to put our faith in what most makes
sense to us.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Was okay with it. I was sad she died, my grandmother, who was
my closest friend, but it wasn't overwhelming. I handled myself
better than most of the adults, and wanted to be a part of all the
steps I could be: from choosing flowers, to being with her for her
treatments, to reading books to help her sleep at night. I was 7
years old when my grandmother died, and I still am not sure what
made me so strong, why I handled it the way I did.
--That first time, how it happened was
My mother's mother passed away from breast cancer when I was 7
years old. She died at our home, in the room above my own. My mom,
her two sisters, and my uncle were with her at the time. We all
did our best to put my grandmother's mind at peace, to help her
be calm, comfortable, tie up all her loose ends, etc. I remember
reading her a book called "Baby Animals," one night. I had a part
in all the planning for the wake and funeral, I insisted! I don't
remember feeling sad at all. I remember feeling a little angry,
because the day she died, I was sent around the corner to stay at
my Aunt and Uncle's house, my Grandmother's sister and brother in
law.
While she was fighting the cancer, I was there too. Me and
her sister, my Aunt Theresa, would take her to her radiation and
chemotherapy sessions.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
What my dad looked like in his coffin. Diminished. An empty shell. It
didn't even look like him.
--What I think my (United States ) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Not to fear it.
I am a buddhist, so I believe death is a great
opportunity to recognize the Clear Light and become liberated
from Samsara, become enlightened. I believe what will happen to
me and all of is will be a result of our own karma, our own mind,
our own actions. I believe these things fully, but I know I may be
wrong.
I also very strongly believe that it is important to make
the dying person as comforable as possible, to help them put aside
their attachments, fears, any anger, any hatred, jealousies. I
think it's important to help them tie up any lose ends, and you
need to keep composure when around them. You need to be, or you
need to help others who are dying be, calm, even, content.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I have been able to give strength to others on wake and funeral days.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Meditation on death, dying, impermanence, the bardo,
emptiness. Learning more about death and dying from my
teachers, monks, nuns, Lamas, and Geshes. Learning more about
karma. Remembering the deceased in a good light, and offering
prayers for them.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Never getting to be with, see, hear, feel, smell, talk to the
deceased in there former form again. Missing them. The difficult
parts of the changes that were necessary due to the circumstances
following or surrounding their deaths.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Don't feel sorrow and control your tears. Keep an calm mind. Be
compassionate and ask the dying person if there is anything you
can do, any lose ends to tie up. Listen to their thoughts. Try to
give advice to calm them, subdue their fears, transform their pain,
keep them from despair or panic. I think the state of mind you are
in when you pass on holds great bearing on what happens next ;)
Being a buddhist, haha, I would also say that it is important
to review things such as the teachings of the bardo, teachings on
emptyness, and help the dying person to purify as much negative
karma as they can! I would say special prayers such as that of Green
Tara, Medicine Buddha, Avalokiteshvara, the compassion buddha. I
would encourage them to abandon all clinging to this world, and
to make their minds ready for the next stage in their existance:
the bardo of the intermediate state. I would obviously get their
Guru to be there asap! And I would stroke or massage their face,
head, hair so as to encourage the mind to depart through the crown.
--[My CoWorker's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
The time of death is uncertain.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
My dad had to die the way he did. Karma is confusing!
And
how quickly my Aunt Theresa went; one night she was lucid and
talking...a few hours later she was gone.
How I don't like to
view the bodies. Then, for some strange reason, every time I think
about that person, their image in the coffin is the first image
that comes to mind. It's like it's tatooed on my retinas! THAT is
not who they were! So it sort of bums me out and disturbs me.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
Nope.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Spend more time with my Dad before and as he went. I was 14 and my
mum didn't feel it was appropriate for me to be around it alot I
guess. But I feel I was! I never knew that his sisters and brothers
were not complying with my father's wishes. I also wish I had gotten
some of his leftover material things: his watch, some of his clothes,
pictures--just sentimental things I wish I'd had.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Be strong and show a positive disposition. I set an example for my
family and dad's friends and made it a little easier, I think...I
hope ;)
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I remember we all made a point not to be upset around my grandmother,
to foster a comforting, safe, relaxing environment. We wanted to
impress on her how much we loved her and wanted to take care of her.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
My grandmother's will. She left the house to her single son, single
daughter, and my mom who was single and raising me mostly alone,
as my dad was divorced from her and just diagnosed with a brain
tumor.
My grandmother's oldest daughter had a house, husband
on the police force, and two children. She was not to get a share
in the house, as my grandmother felt she was taken care of---and
she know what kind of person my Aunt Linda was, unfortunately. It
caused a big fiasco that is STILL not resolved to this day.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I am doing intense meditation on death.
I come across Vietnam Vets,
on tv or in print or real life.
I come across instances of Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder in books/tv/real life.
I hear a couple
of songs that remind me of my father.
I run into other situations
of brain tumors, in print or tv or real life.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Sometimes I do. I think my dad and me would have had so many great
memories by now. We are a lot alike. We both can debate till the cows
come home, read constantly, and are into intellectual pursuits. I
think his good qualities would be a big help to me. I think we'd
learn a lot from each other. I think we'd be great friends by now.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
It's just not fair that my dad had to die so young. That he didn't
get to heal and purify his negative karmas. That he didn't get to
see me grow up. That I don't have my father in my life anymore. It's
just not fair that when my Uncle's Mother-in-Law developed breast
cancer, it was like watching my grandmother die all over again. The
only difference? SLIGHTLY better pain meds. Hmph.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Transform the difficulty into the root of the path to enlightenment!
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
My mother was so upset that I decided I was going to squish my
feeling down and cry in private. I decided to be strong.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Being too busy. It is so hard for doctors to devote enough time to
their patients these days.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
I've had none directly as of yet.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
As a child, I was raised Roman Catholic. Ever spend 6 years at
a Catholic school! I've always loved Jesus very much, but the
faith didn't make sense or help me much.
When I was older,
about 19, I discovered an image of a Wrathful Buddhist deity
on a book and I was hooked! I progressed from there: study,
practice, teachings, meditations, service to other beings, and
so forth. I have received refuge and bodhisattva vows, as well as
many teachings and enpowerments. I strive to use all these tools
to realize loving-kindness, compassion, emptiness.
--Religious Affiliation:
Mahayana Buddhism of the Gelugpa Tradition/Roman Catholic.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Just fine.
--Regarding MONEY:
I had no idea, but my dad left me a GREAT deal of money. My Uncle
had gambled away a lot of his money taking risks on stocks, as well
as the house fund, and my Mother and my Aunt's money at that same
time. My dad's money went to keep our house. ALL OF IT. And I had
NO idea about this, until a few years or so ago actually. As messed
up as this sounds, if my dad hadn't died when he did, we may have
had no place left to live.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
All the people I saw that I hadn't seen in years, since I was a
very young child!
I remember it was a very hot and humid day
in August, and I remember eveyone kept saying, "If Willy was here
now, he's yell at us to get him out of this damned sun!" Yeah,
he hated that sort of weather...
I remember very clearly the
song "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins coming on the radio in
the funeral procession. My mother cried a bit. I just held it in
and pushed it down. I have NO idea why I did that or why I often
still do that.
I remember I kept saying that I'd see him again
someday. So it was just "see ya later," not "goodbye."
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Feeling detached. Like you are watching this scene and not really
there.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
I don't remember. My mother sheltered me from the final moments. Not
sure this was such a good idea on her part.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
I prefer to mourn in private. My boyfriend is the only one who I
feel slightly comfortable crying around. Sometimes, as I get older,
my mother too. I just try to pray, say mantras for the deceased
strongly, and all of us left behind to be sad, lonely, confused,
inquisitive. I feel what I feel and go through it, I cry in private
if I need to and try to get it all out. I let it run it's course. But
I don't allow myself to wallow in sorrow or fear. I try to remember
the possibility of where the deceased loved one could be now, and
remember all the good times. I try to take this as a teaching on
death and impermanence, and on non-attachment.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I have no idea. The electrical things like the doorbell in my mom's
hall works strange now since my grandmother died. As does the phone
in the kitchen. Might just be coincidences, there is probably a
perfectly logical reason for it all, but still it's funny.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
I can't say that has happened to me.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I think I have a lot of questions still that probably couldn't be
answered even if my dad were able to answer them. Like why he did
some of the things he did to my mother, me, himself--how much of
his behavior was him, and how much was his illness. I answer all
my questions with this answer: karma.
The Buddhas, the Dharma,
and the Sangha and my Guru, help me with all of this. My faith in
the Triple Gem, in the law of cause and effect, in bodhichitta,
in enlightenment. These things help me.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
This has unfortunately yet to happen to me! I had a few regular
dreams about my dad, like he was sitting in the living room we
had at the time when i was about 8ish. Or driving in a car. Oh
well! Maybe someday ;)
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
Perhaps my dad has visited me in a dream. I don't know.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I think I've already mentioned how my father's family did not carry
out his dying wishes. I don't understand how they got away with it
and I hope that the same thing doesn't happen to me.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I have given much thought to my own impermanence. I am trying to
meditate on death more and more. I need to write out a living will,
so I am thinking about this. If I knew I was to die soon, I would
have to get in touch with my Guru and the rest of the Sangha I have
close relations with. I would request guidance; what would be the
best, the most effective practices I can do now to prepare myself? I
want the traditions of my faith followed as closely as possible.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Daughter of Nancy and Will. Grandaughter of Josie. Practicing
Mahayana Buddhist, member of Kurukulla Dharma Center, student of Lama
Zopa Rinpoche, Geshe Tsulga, His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Devoted
her life to making herself and her world a place of less suffering as
well as she could. Loved by her boyfriend, many friends, many family
members, and many many animals. May she be reborn in a Pureland, or,
if the karma is not there, may she attain a most favorable rebirth
so see can continue to study Dharma. Then it would say info about
a puja for me. Maybe someday I'll have a pitbull, a kitten, or some
children and a husband to be survived by!
i don't know....that
was very bizarre to me.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Meditation on emptiness, death, impermanence.
Offering prayers and
merit to the deceased.
Thinking that I will meet them again, and
when I am a Buddha, I will remember them and we will be inseparable.
Reading my dad's old letters to my mom from Vietnam.
Looking at
all the old pictures.
Recalling stories of the deceased one.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Offering merits and mantras and prayers is really restorative,
provided you have sincere faith or refuge. It is a real way you
can help the deceased.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I certainly feel a closer bond with my Uncle's wife, Dianne. She
lost her mother a few years ago to breast cancer, just like my
grandmother lost her life to this dreaded disease. We have always
been close, but we now share a deep sorrow.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
I could see that her physical pain at that time was at an end.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Other:
My circumstances changed; my grandmorther was my best friend and my
babysitting, so i was forced not only to go to a different school
after her death (she's always wanted me to go to a Catholic school,
and my mom was so distraught , she sent me there! Not the best
experience! ) I also had to go to a babysitting in an all Irish
neighborhood across town every day. Up until then, I had grown up
in a neighborhood that was all Italian immigrants, so the cultures
were rather different, and both of those mayjor adjustments were
hard and stressful for me at the time.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I don't think I reached out to anyone. I just worked through it
on my own. Now I wish I had discovered the path Buddha earlier in
life! A Lama would be able to help me work through anything!!!
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It was nice to share. To get some thoughts out. To contribute. To
communicate. To remind myself of the importance of preparing yourself
for your death, and the death of those around you.
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See Dec 08 contributions.
See Nov 08 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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