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See Current contributions.
See Jan 09 contributions.
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Sat Feb 7 18:02:00 2009
F45 in Bloomington, California =United States=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 10 Months ago.
Cause of Death: chemotherapy; Aged: 73.
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--Death Is:
the end of living.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was young and didn't know anything but sadness.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
how am I going to live without her?
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
that my mom isn't in pain anymore.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
memories.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
memories.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
let them know they were loved and not cry all the time.
--[My Mother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
am still grieving and quit expecting me to be done grieving.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
one day the doctors tell me she's going to make it and the next
day she's dead!
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
hear more stories from her past.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be there when she left.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I want to ask her a question that only she has the answer to..
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
I need her!
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
talk to her.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
want to join her.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
indifference.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
I blame them.
--Religious Affiliation:
baptist
--Regarding MONEY:
everything from the cremation to the obituary is very expensive.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
the deteriorating voice and being unable to communicate.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
as far as I know nothing has happened. Maybe I'm looking too hard
or I want it to happen too much.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
make sure that my animals will be placed with someone who will
love them. Make sure that there's not alot of junk for my family
to deal with.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I hope that when I die, my loved ones know that I loved them and that
someone will take care of my cats and give them love and attention.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
She was a good person. She loved her family. She loved animals.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
writing to her.
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How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Talking to People
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Mon Feb 9 15:04:57 2009
M47 in glasgow, =scotland=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
google search on reflections on death
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 20 Years ago.
Cause of Death: suicide; Aged: .
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--Death Is:
an inexplicable rent in ones experience of reality
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
felt my life direction and meaning cease
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
everything becoming ugly and falling apart
--What I think my (scotland) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it needs to be spoken about
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
nothing
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
several years afterwards someone listening
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the isolation
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
talk about whats actually happening
--[My Mother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
missed her
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
others reactions, and the anger and blame that arose f
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
life goes on
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
to see her body
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
survive
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
the police man who tried to comfort me as his superiors questioned
my father
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
don't cry
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I watch movies about people losing loved ones
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I cant even imagine that
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
I am 17 I want my adolescence back
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
die
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
my knees buckled and i looked up an dthe sky was clear blue
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
not a lot
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
lack of empathy
--Religious Affiliation:
past catholic/ present buddhist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
universal
--Regarding MONEY:
more poverty
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
it was irrelavent
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
the world went on as if nothing had happened
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
the several attempts before the final act
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
death hurts like no other and shifts ones experience of reality
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
none
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
my father might have helped me to process the experience
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I would like the opportunity to say good bye
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I imagine I would be releaved, my death wouldnt matter
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
he never really got it, never really played never really loved and
was unable to endure the love of others, he wanted to go and now
finally he is at rest, my he rest in peace
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
sex and drugs
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
nope
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
nope
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How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Helping Other People cope
I don't think I have dealt with it
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Distractions
lack of empathy from others
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
just to be available listen and not judge
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Didnt realise I was still so angry, I am aware f how I have never
really processed the experience, but in a way I have attempted this
by a adopting a profession to help others deal with these issues
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See Jan 09 contributions.
See Dec 08 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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