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See Current contributions.
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Thu Aug 23 16:07:36 2007
F57 in Meadville, Pa =USA=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 10 Years ago.
Cause of Death: respitory failure due to influenza; Aged: 81.
--Details:
We will never really know, as my mother didn`t even tell us he was
dying. The death certificate doesn`t make sense. He was totally
paralysed and they say he died of influenza.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the most painful, lonely separation we will ever go through. It is
like you are lost forever.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
just wanted to be with him. I still look forward to the day we will
be together again.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
who I am. I am not the same person. It has changed every aspect of
my life.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Children should be included, not just spouses.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
nothing
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
God.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the complete lost feeling I have all the time.
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
please turn the laws in Pa. around, and include the chilren. We
need closure too.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I couldn`t even say good bye.just
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say good bye. Not have him cremated. He never believed in that. My
mother did it anyway.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I knew he had passed. I told my husband earlier that day. He said,
if he had died someone would have called. I said you don`t know
my mother.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
how, why, where, when. The fact he died was all that mattered.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
everything about the way it was handled. I no longer have faith in
doctors, funeral homes or mothers.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
have 5 seconds to say I love you.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
just wanted to be allowed to hold him and tell him how much I love
him and respect him. I wanted to tell him we will meet again.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
total distrust.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
my salvation
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
so right
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
no trust in funeral homes
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
the overwhelming feeling we also do lose a part of ourselves when
someone dies.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
his desperate need to let me know, for fear of her not telling any
of us.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
knowing there is life after death.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
wrapping you in warmth. Bringing special smells to you. Letting
you see they are ok.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Remember me in your heart, don`t cry for me now, as I am home.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
at peace. time to be with my Dad again.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
I am my beloved Father`s daughter. He made me who and what I am. All
my kindness and caring came from him.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
my husband
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How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Nothing at all
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Rage
My mother not letting us kids be with our Dad or see him after his
death. She took him from us, to the point we had to sneak to see
him. He was my best friend in the world. He was the other half of
my soul.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
just to listen
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
yes
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Tue Aug 21 19:01:51 2007
F24 in union city, california =united states=
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Prof/Studies: death and dying
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Parents, 18 Years ago.
Cause of Death: heart attack; Aged: 35.
--Details:
I wasn't with my father when he took his last breath. My grandparents
said he had severe heart attack and he died at the spot. I didn't
know what death was at that time and believed that if I wish very
hard for his return than he'll come back to me. I prayed very
hard every night for him for six years and one day when my cousin
told me that he's my guardian angel and he'll always be with me,
I stopped yearning for him.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
death is the ultimate truth of life. Everyone that takes birth on
this earth has to die, leave the body here, and the soul travels
to another world.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was in disbelief for six years.
--That first time, how it happened was
It was the death of my father. I had just turned 6 years old when
the incident of my father's sudden death took place.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
I use to cry for hours in solitude when nobody was watching me. I
emotionally distanced myself from everybody including rest of my
family. For my mother it was a difficult transaction and she had
lots of mixed feelings.
--What I think my (united states) culture needs to better learn about death is:
death of a family member effects children just as much as it effects
older family members. People have to realize that children have
feelings and they need adequate support to deal with such a trauma.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I had social life to distract me from the thinking about the tragedy
all the times.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
knowing that his spirit will always be with me even if he physically
cannot be around me.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the fact that my feelings weren't addressed by my family members.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
listening to their last wishes and assuring them that those will
be fulfilled.
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
dealt with my father's death. It took me years to forget him because
he was so near and dear to me. It's okay to allow yourself as much
time as you need to get closure. You will have emotional burst outs
and that's normal part of healing.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
in culture believes that souls leave their bodies behind and travel
to another world. If this is true why didn't my father's spirit
ever try to contact me? say final goodbye...
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
it was due to confusion and uncomfortable feeling of dealing
with death.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
take a good look at him before his body was cremated.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
I don't remember anything good happening.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
everyone gets to say goodbye to the deceased person one by one
allowing them an opportunity to get closure.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
that the funeral rites are carried out by the son or another male
relative. Females are not allowed to do that.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I see a death on tv or in a movie.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would have certainly been a different person and my life would
have been much happier and fulfilling.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
I felt angry inside that my father who meant the world to me was
taken away from me without any warning signs.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
go to him and talk with him about my life.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I will never see him again. I lost him forever.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
positive one.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
he had a heart attack so I got involved with hospice but I think
it's a good concept.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
religion played a very important part in coming to terms with my
father's death.
--Religious Affiliation:
hinduism
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
my religion believes in afterlife and I do too.
--Regarding MONEY:
I couldn't demand anything from my mom. I had to be very watchful
of what I wish asked for in terms of toys, or other fancy items.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
how everyone grieved out loud. some women were even beating their
chests and crying.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
not being able to see him ever again in my life.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
it was a sudden death so I didn't get any time or important signs.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
crying relieved my pain.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
my dad had no such visions.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I have finally come to terms with my dad's death, but I did have
issues I would have seeked counseling.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I will probably tell him that no one can replace him in my heart. I
always wanted to tell him how much I love him and miss him so this
will be a great way to get closure.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
my cousin claims that my dad visited him in dreams several times. he
asked her to take care of me.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I don't care about how long I live but rather how I live my last
moments.
I would like to die at my home in my bed and I would
want to be among all my loved ones when I am dying.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would express my love and gratitude to all those that I care
about and if given an opportunity I would like to do something for
the underprivileged in our society before I die.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
I don't care for that.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
drawing, painting and writing letters to my dad.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
i pray to god everyday and thank him for what's he has given to me.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
no.
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How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Mystical Studies
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Other:
no one could replace him.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
listening and giving an opportunity to the grieving person to express
his emotions is most crucial in my opinion and that's what I would
do or would have liked someone to do that with me.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
I liked this exercise. While thinking it, it got me thinking about
some of issues that I might not have resolved yet that were caused
by my dad's death.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
no.
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Sun Aug 19 01:18:05 2007
F22 in Phoenix, AZ =us=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
msn
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Sister, 3.5 Years ago.
Cause of Death: murder; Aged: 24.
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What Helped me most deal with death? Nothing at all
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Another Death
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See Jul 07 contributions.
See Jun 07 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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