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See Current contributions.
See Jun 07 contributions.
See May 07 contributions.
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Tue Jul 3 15:50:42 2007
F33 in Hayward, CA =United States=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Prof/Studies: Student: Sociology Major
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother-in-Law, 13 Years ago.
Cause of Death: Stroke; Aged: 65.
--Details:
Her blood pressure increase and she popped a vein in her head.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Very scary for me because losing someone close to me is hard
to believe.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
I was 21
--That first time, how it happened was
The person who died was my mother-in-law
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The sadness inside of everyone.
--What I think my (United States) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Something we can't run from it gets you anywhere.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
If people deal with death they world would get too crowded and
there probably won't be any one for the future.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
I need to forget about what happened or else I would just cry
and cry.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The loss of then person.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Death is something natural it happens to everyone so just hangin
there.
--[My Mother-in-Law's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
my in-laws felt they would celebrate for atleast a year.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
what happens to them whne there dead is their soul still alive?
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
No, I didn't laugh during this death.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
To try to save her life.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
to go through it at a young age.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
My daughter lost her grandmother.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
No comment
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I see a person in the same situatuion as my loved ones.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
First of all my children would be able to see their grandmother.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
She was too young to die.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Bring her back to life.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
started crying and was in shock.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
How theyr kept on treating her till death.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
No Comment
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Our mosque picks where to bury them.
--Religious Affiliation:
Muslim
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
The spirit is alive for us.
--Regarding MONEY:
Before anyone dies in our religion we have to pay a fee for there
graveyard place.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
When the person is at the point of getting buried.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
The after part when you notice their lose.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
How there are if they can communicate or still understand you.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
If I knew somenone in my family was in their dying stage I would vist
them everyday because I know maybe tomorrow they might not be here.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Most people say that they see theirt loved one spirt but I haven't
see it.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
My mother was in comma a couple of years ago and we thoght we will
lose her but we didn't.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
My family
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would tell them our feelings after their death and how does the
other person feels it she misses us or what is it like being DEAD!!
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
The only vist I have see a lost loved one is in my dream.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Most people are afraid to think about the future deaths in the
family well I am because we think that the seniors are the ones to
go first but you never know who it is.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
If I knew I was going to die soon I would probably try to get my
children settled and discuss it with them. I would make me very
scare knowing the fact that I am going to die.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
I would start out with my personal experience.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
We pray for our lost loved ones.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Life would be the same after awhile it would take atleast one month
to get back normal.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I would get a really sad that the fact that it is happening to
my friend.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Crying and Crying
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories to hold
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
Just crying
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Yes
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Sun Jul 8 08:53:20 2007
F45 in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: med
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 40 Years ago.
Cause of Death: stroke; Aged: 50ish.
--Details:
fell off chair dead.
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--Death Is:
putting our molecules back in this caleidoscope universe.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
thought: So what?
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the nutjob comments at the funeral.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
This dry cakes at the funeral coffee table should be replaced by
something better.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
end of suffering.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Being left in peace.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
?. Later: Funerals cost. Later: It hits always the wrong one. Why
does Bush not die of eye cancer?
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
10 mg Morphine i. v. when gasping breath begins.
--[My Patient's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Will calculate the dose better in future.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
Someone did not die on schedule.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I never reported anyone of you. A 90 year old grandma is not as
important as a 1 million racehorse, is she? Luckily one is not
heard in this pathology cellar.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Look after this insurance business.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Sweep it all under the carpet.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
?
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
Eine schöne Leich.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Bush is still alive.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
?
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
vide supra
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
win the lottery.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Again the wrong one.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
I like myself.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Too expensive.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Rubbish.
--Religious Affiliation:
Agnostic.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Dumb.
--Regarding MONEY:
Cost, cost, cost.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
Hypocrisy.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Rhethoric character improvement.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Giving tips and present without special occasion.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
?
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
no.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
show me one who really died, talking.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
Nobody.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Not at all.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
Drunk or drugged.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Bury me with my sword (now hanging over my bed).
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Vide supra. Care for enough Morphine.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Not good, not bad, soon dust. Live on.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Forget.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
No.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
No.
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How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Nothing at all
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Nothing at all
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
?
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
fun.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
?
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Sun Jul 8 13:07:32 2007
F31 in Hayward, California =USA=
Email: <lsj-at-pacbell.net>
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Prof/Studies: Sociology major
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More personal info:
Sure it is okay to post my comments.
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, Years ago.
Cause of Death: old-age, heart conditin; Aged: 70's.
--Details:
All I can remember is I was outside skating on the front porch.
I looked on the back porch and saw my younger uncles vomiting.
Soon my older uncle came out, put his arms around me and starting
walking up and down the porch and then he told me my grandfather
had died.
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--Death Is:
Death is losing someone forever. You never get to see, touch
or talk to them again. The only connection you have to them are
your memories.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
I was pre-teen I believe and it was my grandfather that had died.
--That first time, how it happened was
My grandfather was the person close to me that died. I was raised
by my grandparents and he was like a father to me.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
How strong my grandmother was when her husband died. She cried but
she was the strongest women I have ever seen. She said he was in so
much pain that now he was in peace and didn't have to suffer anymore.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Death is about remembering and celebrating the life of the departed.
It is not a time to fued and fight over things they have left behind.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
How my immediate family came together to help each other out.
My uncles stepped in and helped my grandmother fight against those
who were trying to take advantage of her during her most weakest
moment.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
My support came from my family and my best friend. My best friend
was there if I needed to talk, someone jus to listen or just a
shoulder to cry on.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
It was my grandfather that died and he was like my father.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Just be there for the person and let them know that even though
they will be missed it is okay for them to go. Just make this is
comfortable as possible for them,so they don't die worrying but
instead die in peace knowing that there family will be okay.
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
I was able to do my part by helping out my grandmother around the
house even though sometimes I did not want to.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I would hear the adults arguing over material things that he had.
What was his and what was not his to claim when we had just lost
our loved one.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I remember the times I did laugh it was because I was remembering
him whether it was something funny he did or said. Just having
good memories and thoughts of him made me laugh.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Let my grandfather know how much I loved him and appreciated
everything he done for me. I just wish I could have been there
to hold his hand and let know everything was okay. I just wish I
could have said good-bye.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Go on without and led a pretty normal life whatever that is. He was
my confidant and I could tell him anything. He knew how to calm
me and reason with me when no one else could.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
A strange bird appeared around the house shortly after my grandfather
passed away. Some people might say it was just a bird, but I believed
it was my grandfather checking up on us because this bird walked
around the yard for a few days and then one morning he was just gone.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
I don't really know.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Yes, I still cry because I miss him so much. I find when I speak
of him to my 4 year old daughter I shed a few tears because I wish
she had th opportunity to know him.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I might not have the issues I do today if my grandfather were still
here because he was my father and the one male I was closest to.
I also think things would be different for my grandmother and she
would not be so lonely.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
It's not fair when good decent people die young and evil people
seem to stay around forever.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
I wish I could talk to him. I have a zillion questions I need to
ask him.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I can only remember feeling very sick.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
I think they did not do their best. I feel it is there fault my
grandfather passed away because technology was not advanced enough
to save his life. I would never take anyone to that hospital unless
it was my only choice eventhough people say it is much better now.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Does not apply to my situation.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Religion played a big part because we all went to church together
every Sunday. My grandmothers faith was strong then and is still
strong now and I believe that is what got us through those hard
times.
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I believe that no matter what we will all meet up one day again.
There is only one heaven and one hell and we will lift up our eyes
in one of those two places no matter what race, religion or culture.
--Regarding MONEY:
I don't really remember.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
How kind everyone was and the kind words spoken about my grandfather.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
The strangest part is how life goes on I guess. We have been
through so much since his passing. In the beginning we spoke of
my grandfather a lot, but now no one ever mentions his name.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
I don't remember any signs. I didn't expect this to happen. I knew
he was sick and the ambulance picked him up and he never returned.
I thought he would go and get his medicine or something adjusted
and return home to us.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
Everyone deals with in their own way but talking about that person
and remembering is the most important part of healing. Sometimes I
find if I can't remember something I get really frustrated because
I think that I am forgetting about him and I don't want to that.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I don't know
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
It has never happened to me, but just yesterday my beautician was
telling about a near death experience she had. She said she could
see herself lying in this bed and she remembered raising her head
up and looking around. She didn't float around outside her body
or anything, but she said she was just able to raise up and look
at what was going on around her.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I feel good because even though I didn't get to say good-bye I
know he knew that I loved him very much. I keep him alive in my
heart and I talk to him in silence when I am alone if I need to.
I have no regrets but I sure do miss him.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I'd want to hear that he is okay and at peace. I want to know that
he has been with me everyday watching over me. I guess I just want
to know that his soul is with God and that he is truly at peace.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I mentioned this earlier on but after my grandfather died a strange
bird came around the house for about a week. All it would do was
walk around in the yard up and down the fence row. I belied it was
the grandfather checking up on us and then one day it disappeared.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
The only thing people should be concerned about is saying good-bye
and knowing that I am at peace. Know that I lived my life and to
give all their other concern and efforts to my child. If they want
to make me happy then do everything to make sure my child is happy
and then they will know I am at peace.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I don't think I would want to know. My only concern would be about
my daughter and her well being. I would just need to know she
would be okay. I think I would feel a terrible guilt for having
to leave her.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Oh that is really too spooky for me to even think about.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Just being with loved ones and talking about the good memories that
we shared helps me. Crying, yelling and screaming makes it worse,
but if you can remember and talk about the good times I found that
it helps me so much.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
As for me I guess I am just a pack rat. I like to collect anything
I can for anybody I care about to keep for my own memories.
If something were to happen, if you have soemthing of there's it
helps you to remember the good things. Not having something of
there's hurts because I am afraid I will forget.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
No new friendships but the old friendships sure did get stronger.
I learned who truly were my friends.
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How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
My family and friends were my support system.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Viewing the Body
Viewing the body hindered me because that became the image that
stuck in my head after the funeral. Before that I had my memories
of him how he was before he became ill and passed away.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
In the case of my grandfather I received more help than I gave.
However, when my husband lost his grandmother I was able to help
him out. I still talk about her to him and it brings a smile to
his face just knowing I care enought to remember her.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
This was a good experience although at first it made me sad, but
I love remembering things about my grandfather. It made me think
about stuff I have not in a long time.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
The questions are clear I guess, but the beginning was kind of
confusing with the filling in the blanks and then adding you
comments under.
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Sun Jul 8 16:12:43 2007
F23 in Oakland, California =United States=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, Years ago.
Cause of Death: too old; Aged: 75.
--Details:
my grandmother died in my mother's arms.
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--Death Is:
Death is, the loss of someone you dearly love and must realize that
the person that died will not come back ever, only the memories
stay alive.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
I was too young to understand death, but what hurt me the most is
seeing the person I love (my mother) crying and miserable. I have
lost friends that I occasionally use to see, but not a close family
member, but my grandmother.
--That first time, how it happened was
I was in second grade and my grandmother died in Mexico. I met my
grandmother only twice, but just the thought of seeing my mother cry,
made me sad.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
How the faces of my family had no smiles and all were crying due
to the death of my grandmother.
--What I think my (United States) culture needs to better learn about death is:
My culture has a day for the death and that day we remember the
love ones that died and at the same time celebrate their memories
with music and food.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the good memories the people that die leave for their love ones.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
I appreciate my friends and family for their support with dealing
with a death, but I like to be left alone to reflex and help myself
understand that God took the individual for a reason, and their
time was up to leave earth.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The fact of realizing that I will never see that person again or
have interactions with the individual.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
God choose to take him/her away and now they are in a better and
peacful place.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
I felt better by being there for my mother that took it harder
since it was her mother; I had to be strong for my mother.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
Yes, when I am at the urge of crying, I start laughing instead,
but at the end I cry after all.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Yes, about a year ago my auntie died and just by looking at my
cousins~R cry for their mother, it made me think if it was my
mother that died and that made me cry harder. Sometimes just by
looking at death on television (especially children's death) that
brings negative thoughts of what if it was my children and my eyes
get teary.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
One of my friends died in a car accident. People that witnessed the
accident said that my friend got out of the car and was still alive,
but since the ambulance came thirty minutes later, it was too late
and he died. I had dreams that I was there during the scene and took
care of him until the ambulance came and he survived the accident.
I always daydream that what if I could have saved someone's life
by being there at the scene.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
its just not fair, when innocent people are killed due to violence.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
deny the death or never think about it
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I was clueless and shock, and did not know if I was supposed to
cry or say something to my mother.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Sometimes people are not taken care properly in the medical community
and if they were cared properly, they would be alive.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
When someone dies, by my religion, God takes those he wants and
after death they go to heaven a beautiful and peaceful place.
--Religious Affiliation:
Catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
That the died people go to either heaven or hell.
--Regarding MONEY:
In my family,we try to do a contribution box, where people can
offer to donate money for the funnel expenses.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
The day before I heard about my auntie's death, I had a dream that
she spoke to me through a large mirror and it was really dark with
a spot light focusing towards her. She told me to take care of my
mother because she needs me. Also to love my mother regardless of
how she is and treats me.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
What helps me is being alone at home listening to music or watching
television, trying to distract me from crying and realizing the
their death was done for a reason and the only thing is to remember
the good memories.
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How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Distractions
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Distractions
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Sun Jul 8 22:40:14 2007
F29 in San Ramon, CA =USA=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
Assignment for school
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Prof/Studies: Sociology
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
n/a
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 1.5 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 59.
--Details:
He was diagnosed with cancer 1 year before he passed. I moved my Dad
to my house and did hospice care. My mother-in-law and father-in-law
helped me the last month of my fathers life with hospice treatment.
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--Death Is:
Death is a stage in life. The final stage.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
I was young and had a problem grasping what it meant and why.
--That first time, how it happened was
My Great-Great Aunt passed away at 91 years of age. I was 7
years old.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Even though I knew my Dad was dying and had little time, I was very
shocked when the Dr. called time of death. It felt like I was hit
by a truck. I felt very alone at that moment. I happened to be
alone at the time. My husband was at home and no other family was
with me. I was in shock.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
No one should die alone.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I am grateful that I held my fathers hand when he took his last
breath. I am glad he did not die alone.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
After I left the hospital, I went to my family's house. It was
nice to talk and cry with them. I felt relief that my father had
passed on and that he was no longer in pain and scared.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Watching how frightened my Dad was. He also felt very alone.
I was the only person he had in his life.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Touch. Touching someone who is sick makes all the difference.
They are sitting in sterile, cold, lonely environments. Touching
someone lets them know that they are loved.
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
never thought that I could be strong. It is amazing how quickly
you pull yourself together when you need to take care of someone
you love.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
i felt very alone even when I was with others.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I laughed when my Dad would yell at me. That meant he was feeling
strong and having a good day. But he was yelling and being mean.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Be more patient, ledd frazzled, spent more time holding my Dad's
hand.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Take care of him. I considered sending him to a facility and I am
glad I did at home care.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Flowers. It meant a lot to me when people sent me flowers for
condolences.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
My Dad did not have a will. Most things of value were in our
name jointly.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I don't know what triggers it. It can be something on tv, a random
photo, or a song.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I do have the occasional dream that he is still alive. He looks like
he did most of his life not sickly like the end of it. We are doing
his favorite outdoor things. He loved to camp and hike in nature.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
I felt my Dad was cheated time. He had recently retired and spent
most of his life working. He didn't drink, hadn't smoked for 15+
years, and was very active. I wish he would have had time to enjoy
his retirement, and see his grand children.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
sleep. I think I went into a depression for the first motnh or so.
I wanted to spend a lot of time sitting at home.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
When my step-mother passed away, I had dreams for months that it
was a mistake and she was still alive.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
The Dr's were mostly good with one exception. I did find that a
lot of nurses are there for the pay check and are not concerned
with patient care. There were many fantastic nurses and several
crappy ones.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Hospice was very helpful. I was upset that the pain was not
controlled. But they gave him high doses of everything. The were
very supportive and understanding.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
My father was not religious. I asked him if he wanted a preist
and he refused. He did let my friend come in and pray with him.
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I believe that everyone goes to a better place.
--Regarding MONEY:
Money was a factor. I had to take off of work and get an equity
line on my house to pay my bills so I could take care of my father.
I have no regrets.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
My Dad was a loner. We did not have a service. He requested to
be cremated.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
It made me appreciate every day I have with my family.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
When my Dad started talking about his mother, I knew we were close to
the end. I know people who have has similar experiences with this.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
I laid low for the first month. I think I was in shock. It really
hit me 2 months after he passed. I did a lot of crying then.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
My father saw his mother.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
n/a
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I wish I was more sympathetic. I was exhausted all the time and I
think I lost my temper too much and I took a lot of things he said
and did too personally. I needed to remember and understand that
he was lashing out and just let it roll off of my shoulders.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would like to know that he loved me and knows how much I loved
him and that he is no longer suffering.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I see my Dad in my dreams. He is there and life is normal.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I do not want to suffer and I do not want life support if I have
no brain function.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would be sad that I have limited time. I would worry for my
friends and family and how they will cope.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Kelly Dizon was a smart, giving person and loved by all. She will
be missed.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
I just sit alone with my thoughts.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
no
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
Some friendshipd became distant and others stronger from my fathers
condition. I learned who my true friends were.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
My family told me that we needed to celebrate her life and not
be sad.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Family's Sensitivities
Everyone was drinking and partying after the church service.
It was very hard for me to understand.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
It would have been nice to have someone at the hospital with me
more often. I felt very alone there.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
The questionnaire has brought back the feelings I have for my Dad.
They never go away. I have teary eyes and a heavy heart when I
think of him. Other times I laugh with fond memories. Today though,
tears.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
n/a
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Mon Jul 9 19:22:10 2007
F26 in Hayward, CA = ?? =
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Prof/Studies: Criminal Justice/Sociology
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 3 Years ago.
Cause of Death: illness; Aged: 76.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
When someone dies is when their body is no longer functioning and
their sould or spirit is no longer part of their physical body.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
couldn't believe it. I remember seeing the body in the coffin and
I thought my grandfather was just sleeping.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the pain that we all shared and the disbelief that he was gone.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
Not sure
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I am thankful that I was able to spent time with my grandfather
before he died.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
I believe the support that we all gave to each other as family when
my grandfather passed away.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Knowing that you won't see your love one anymore.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Give all your love and time that person and let them know that you
are there for them.
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
was glad to see my grandfather one more time.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
When we received the phone call from Mexico and they were saying
that my grandfather was still alive and then we got another call
saying that he was dead.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I wanted to have the best memories of my grandfather present and
those time that he made me laugh.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
to tell my grandfather how much I appreciated all the time he
dedicated to my sisters and myself when my father was away.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Spent Christmas and New years with my family and that my grandfather
got to see all of his children and grandchildren.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
N/A
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
N/A
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Just the fact of going back to Mexico and not see my grandfather
anymore.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I think it would be nice if he was still alive and just going back
to Mexico and spend one more Christmas with him would be great.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
N/A
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I was in shock I just thought it was a dream.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
No comment
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
N/A
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I feel like the people that die are watching over their love ones.
--Regarding MONEY:
No comment
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
I was so surprised to see how many people went to the funeral. It
showed how many people knew my grandfather and how much they
loved him.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
N/A
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Well, it was strange when we came back from the funeral the front
door wouldn't open and I remember my grandma saying that it was
probably my grandfather's spirit. I didn't believe it, but she said
that one a person dies and no one stays in the house the spirit of
the dead person takes over the house.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
N/A
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I feel good about it.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I have had dreams with my grandfather dancing and just hughing him
and telling how much I love him.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
My grandma believes that my grandfather visited her after he
passed away.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I think when it comes to money many times people totally change and
they don't think about the situation they are facing "Death". Also
if the person wants to be cremated.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I have thought about this and if I knew I was dying soon I would
like to spend as much time as possible with my love ones and do
the things I haven't have the opportunity to do.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Miriam Hernandez was a friendly person who loved to helped others,
she love to make new friends and was an open-minded person.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
None
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
no
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I think the death of my grandfather made our family bond stronger. I
think now we keep more in touch with my grandma
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Helping Other People cope
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Nothing at all
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I think I was able to reached out to my grandma and just give her
all my support and love.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
I believe it's too long.
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Tue Jul 10 14:42:47 2007
F35 in Livermore, CA =USA=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Prof/Studies: Sociology major
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
n/a
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 12 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 73.
--Details:
Nana, my mom's mom, was sick for some time, about 2 years. I no
longer lived at home, but would visit often to see her. She had
lived with us since I was 5 years old. She was my caretaker along
with everything else.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the ending of a life cycle. Sometimes our lives are short, but
often we get to live long happy lives. In my nana's case, it was
an end not only to a long happy life, but also an end to the pain
and suffering she had experienced. Death allows those who are not
able to go on in this life, to move on to a place where they can
escape pain and rest with the lord.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was only 13 or 14 years old. I was there until my Tio took his last
breathe. It was a very odd feeling, to see life just stop. I remember
sitting back in a chair where I had a small area to see between all
the people who where present. He gasped and then once more and then
blood backed up in the tubes coming out of his mouth. It seemed so
clinical, so surreal....but at the same time, my parents and other
family memebers were crying and it all became real in an instant.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
how my nana waited for me to make it to the hospital. I nearly
quit my job when my boss said to me that i had to finish my shift,
not to worry, that my grandmother would wait. I experienced for
the first time the true meaning of family comes first.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that mourning death doesn't always have to be so sad. I liked it
when the kids went back to the house after my grandmother passed and
we all told stories of how she used to get mad at us, and then how
she'd make us laugh. Laughing felt so good and it made the memories
of nana happy again.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the feeling that I had that all of a sudden nana was everywhere. She
was looking over us all, she was able to be our caretaker again,
even though we couldn't see her.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
talking with my sister and cousins. We just told good stories about
how nana was the best, even at finding out what we were doing when
she wasn't in the room!
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
finding out how many people wanted to come say their
goodbyes....after having had so many opportunities to show their
love when she was around, why did they not make time to do it when
she was still here? That was hard. Made me feel like some of them
where hippocrates.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
to let them know that you will be able to get along without
them. That they will be extremely missed but that you understand
if they need to just let go.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
know in my heart that she is always with me. She is the one who
is my son's gardian angel. She was gone long before he was born,
and when I was giving birth, even though everything was going along
just fine and I was under some 'good drugs', I looked to my mom
and told her everything was going to turn out fine. Nana was going
to watch over him. Then, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy...10
minutes later, he stopped breathing and the next few weeks were very
shakey. But in the end, his guardian angel took care of him. Nana
has been my son's caretaker as well. Nothing makes me happier than
to know that she's looking over him at all times.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
it took so long for her to pass. I know that she waited for me,
I know that it allowed many to come visit her when she was no
longer the same able body that cared for us as children. She was
sick and too many times, she tried to hurt herself, I don't know
if it was from the pain or from the frustration of not being able
to do all that she used to, but it was hard to understand why she
had to suffer for as long as she did.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
it was the best thing to happen, it was a joy that Nana could
stop suffering.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
be there to help my mom more in Nana's final days. I was 500 miles
away and caught up in work, feeling like things couldn't go on
without me, allowing my boss to say that it could wait. I should
have grown up sooner and had just more time to be there for my mom.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be there for Nana's last words, 'mija, llegaste' (sweetie, you made
it). It only took another hour for Nana to take her final breathe
after that and nothing else came out of her mouth from that point on.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Nana's face started to look relaxed, like she wasn't fighting
any longer.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
the exact time of death....
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
When it's mother's day, or Nana's birthday. When we need her to be
around. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, she cried out for
her mom....will I ever be in the same shoes?
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I can't imagine it, to me it would mean that things may not have gone
so well with my son. I think we all have a purpose, whether we're
here of already dead looking down on someone, as Nana has for my son.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
my mom needs nana now. This was when she was diagnosed with breast
cancer. My mom cried out for her, and I could only hold her but
could never offer the comfort of a mother's touch. It's not the same.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
just cry and be alone somewhere, where only Nana can here me and
help me though my difficulties.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
devistated at the idea that Nana wouldn't be there anymore to hug and
hold. Only it didn't take long to feel her around soon after that.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
thankfulness.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
that the workers there were angels themselves. They were extremely
supportive in accomodating anything we asked to have.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
that there is a heaven that now has a new memeber, a new angel,
that is Nana.
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian/Catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
like my saving grace. It's the feeling that Nana's spirit is still
with us, in our hearts and daily lives.
--Regarding MONEY:
some of my cousins thought that Nana has some kind of fortune. It
created some issues, but only with those who weren't a part of
her daily life. Better yet, they weren't around even throughtout
the year.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
the number of people who attended the services.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
seeing my mom and a mortal. All of a sudden something "might"
happen to her too.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
I don't know.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
it's good to be there with the dying, but you need to give yourself
time each day to remember that you are still among the living.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Nana spoke of her son, my uncle Manuel, who had been declared dead
some 8 years earlier. She said she'd
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
n/a
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I'm old enough now to know that this is an ongoing process. My
siblings and I have a great relationship. The relationship I had
to fix with the one with my dad...that happened after my Nana's
death. It's been over 10 years and my dad went from being this
dominating father figure to being my "daddy".
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would thank my grandmother for all that she has done in teaching me
about being a loving caretaker and let her know that it is because
of her and my mother that I am the woman I am today.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I think this what happened when I was giving birth to my son. It
wasn't so much a vision, but more of an awareness of Nana's presence.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
My husband and I are writing our will this summer. We don't ever
want there to be quesions among the children or ever make them feel
like they need to make any decisions. We want to alleviate as much
of that pressure as possible. We, as our parents did, will have
out plots paid for and waiting for us so that no one needs to do
any of those arrangements, or at least they should have a minimal
amount of decision to make.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I encountered this question about a month after giving birth to my
son. I used to teach SCUBA and loved it, but all of a sudden, the
reality of the dangers involved hit me like a ton of bricks the first
time I got back into the water. I wanted out of any situation that
might end the relationship that is now most important to me... the
one with my son. I hope that someday when I'm gone, he will admire
and respect me the way I do my parents and Nana.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Caring and loving wife, sister, daughter, mother (to all the children
who encountered her path).
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Talking to other loved one's who knew Nana was the best therapy
for me.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
In any job after my Nana's passing, I have looked to work for
people who value family and understand that our work is just a
means for getting us things....and that nothing can take the place
of our family.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
This had to be that same relationship that was mentioned in the
prior question. The relationship I had/and now have with my "daddy".
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Knew it was coming
our family has always been extremely close, so we were all there
together.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Crying and Crying
Watching my mom and dad cry was very hard, I loved my uncle and
for the first time I felt like I had to be strong for them.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I was there for my siblings and cousins. We talked together about
good times that we shared with Nana.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It was hard at times, but very useful in helping me remember that
there are things in my life that I have yet to take care of.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
n/a
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Tue Jul 10 18:14:56 2007
M27 in Hayward, California =USA=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
This is an assignment from my instructor
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
NONE
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
NONE
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Uncle, 20 Years ago.
Cause of Death: AIDS/CANCER/PNEUMONIA; Aged: MID-30s.
--Details:
My uncle was homosexual and his partner never told him that he had
AIDS. Only until my uncle got sick did the truth come out. I feel
if the information was made known to my uncle then he may not have
contracted the virus.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Permanent
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Cried and wished it to not be true
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
it hurt very much because my grandfather had died just a month
beforehand
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
How to celebrate that person's life more
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
The memories we shared
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
The passage of time and the support of my family
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Knowing that I would never see or hear him again
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
To provide as much comfort as I can to that person
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Respected his commitment and loyalty to a family that had 4 kids
and no biological father around. He took care of a family that
originally was not his responsibility.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I was told I would never see him again
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I enjoy hearing the stories my dad tells about him
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Get to know my grandfather when I became an adult. I wonder how I
would be different had he been alive during my childhood, teens,
adulthood.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Be a grandson to him and give him joy when I was a child.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Even as he was dying he never let you know he was in pain. He was
never a "me first" guy. His family was always number one.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
He still smoked cigarettes when he was in the hospital. It didn't
matter anymore. He already was going to die from the Cancer. There
was no way he would live any longer.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
The 4th of July comes around. My grandfather was a very patriotic
man. He had a large collection of bald eagles and American flags. he
always would say that America was the greatest country in the world.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would know alot more about who I am and what kind of family I
have. I might be more confident in who I am because I would know
where I come from. My dad my have raised me differently with his
own father there to help him
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
I'll never get to know him the way I've alwayswanted to. I'll
alwaysbe in the dark about where half of my family comes from.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Not feel the pain
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
"Don't know if I can handle this."
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Great respect. they deal with people who are sick and dying. Those
people aren't always going to have the best outlook on life. Hospital
staff must have a great amount of patience for those who have a
short fuse.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
They were unphased by alot of the afflications(sores, infections,
fatigued appearance) that plagued my uncle. We couldn't bear it
but to them it was just another day.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
A way to forget about it. Just putting my concentration on the Lord
helped me to realize that I could get over it. It gave me "someone"
to turn to.
--Religious Affiliation:
Catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
To unload all of my grief on God helped me to grow as an
individual. It also gave me the feeling that I was not alone even
when no one was around me.
--Regarding MONEY:
It had no direct effect on me
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
My parents thought my brother and I were too young to be at the
funeral. I wish I could have been there.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
To see a man go from healthy to dying in the matter of months shows
how God can give and take in such a short period of time.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
The distant look in their eyes tells that they're starting to cross
over to the other side(the afterlife). When they can no longer
recognize their loved ones, you know the end is near.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
Do what makes you feel the most comfortable when trying to
grieve. Everyone has their own way of dealing with death and trying
to copy someone else's way can compromise your own progress.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Before my uncle Harold died he would talk to his wife like she was
right next to him. His wife had been deceased for a year.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
NONE
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
There are no unresolved issues. I know he's with God and that he's
watching over me as I continue to live my life.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would just like to know that he's proud of me and the man I've
become.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
NONE
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Follow my wishes when it comes to my death. No one else should make
that decision for me regardless of the state I am in.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would live my life to the fullest and spend time with the ones
I love and care about.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
All I've ever wanted to do was make people happy. Even if it
compromised my own joy.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
I would sing while alone in order to calm myself.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Whenever I feel stressed or anxious I now ask God to lead me in
the direction he wants me to go. I know he will never lead me astray.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
My dad's side of the family always does something for 4th of July
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
Personal Reflection
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Alcohol
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
When my younger family members had trouble dealing with grief i
would take the time to lend them an ear and a shoulder to lean on.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It was weird to revisit those experiences. My grandfather and uncle
died when I was just 8 years old.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
NONE
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Tue Jul 10 22:24:45 2007
M21 in Alameda, California =United States=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
Death and Dying Class
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Michael Yu
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 10 Months ago.
Cause of Death: Heart Failure; Aged: 81.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
When a human can no longer control their body or mind.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
felt numb.
--That first time, how it happened was
When I was very young, I hit my head and needed four stitches.
It was bleeding
so much that I was afraid for my life.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
My father's reaction.
--What I think my (United States) culture needs to better learn about death is:
That it happens to everyone so cherish everyday.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
How death can bring people closer together.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Family and Friends.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The feeling of loss.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Knowing people care about you and are there for you up until the
very last
second.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
See how death changes families. Sometimes for the better and
sometimes
worse.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
There were arguements about property.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
it was a emotional release.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say goodbye.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
remember all of the good times.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
the young children seemed to understand the situation.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
Personal Property.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I hear about someone else's loss.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Our family would be drastically different.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
how good people die while people who deserve to die are still alive.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
forget it all.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
numb and empty.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Objectivity and not remembering that there is a human life at stake.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
I would get infected if I touched anything.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Certain family and cultural rituals.
--Religious Affiliation:
Buddism
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
like what is lost, the body is just an instrument for the spirit.
--Regarding MONEY:
Certain family members argued over jewelry.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
how many people were in attendance.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
seeing family members I never knew I had.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Increased Doctor and Nurse Activity.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
The deceased person would want you to think about the good times
instead of crying.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
My grandmother said she had dreams about deceased relatives.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
I have heard that some people have near death experiences and have
a moment
of reflection on their life.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
When you lose someone I think you always feel that you should or
could have
done alittle more. Like tell that person how much
you care about them more
often.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would want to let them know how much I cared about them even if
I didnt show
it all the time. This would help me get alittle
more closure.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I have never experienced this but I would think this experience
would scare me.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
How my family is taken care of after my death.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I know my time will come. I would hope it would be later rather than
sooner
because I still have so much I want to do during my life.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
It would say how much I care about my loved ones. It would say
that during my
career as a police officer, I always did the right
thing and I made a difference in
peoples lives.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Family gatherings helped because we all helped eachother move on.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I think that I became more close to my girlfriend through that
process because
she was my emotional support.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Ability to Forget
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Passage of Time
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I reached out to younger relatives. I tried to be strong so that
they would feel at
ease.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
This questionnaire would have been more helpful if I had taken it
right after the
death. It brought back the feelings and memories
of the event.
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Wed Jul 11 11:09:31 2007
F20 in san leandro, = ?? =
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
dont know any
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
dont know any
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 9 Years ago.
Cause of Death: unknown; Aged: 38.
--Details:
she died in her sleep. She was in good health too.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
when one has past away, meaning not here on earth, in heaven or hell.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
I was kind of shocked but it didnt hit me very well.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
my mom crying and telling me what happened, and that my mom she
was very close to her sister.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
i really dont know how it can be better in dealing whith someones
death.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
people will always remeber the good.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
talking about it and being around people who cared about you,
and thinking about the good times.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
remembering how they were.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
just being there makes them happy and it makes them feel liek someone
cares and just having someone to talk to may take away all the fear
and pain that dying person may hold.
--[My Aunt's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
i am always here to talk and that im good listener and that i
understand.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
that she was young and in good health and i dont know why she had
to die and that she died in her sleep.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
get to know her.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
know her from my mom and learn about her and help my mom with
her memories.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
i was sad and angry because it happened to someone who didnt deserve
it someone who wasnt in pain or sick someone who wasnt expecting it.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
What Helped me most deal with death? Keeping Busy
i didnt know her so i felt liek i didnt have to deal much with it,
just helped talk to my mom and keep memories she had of her.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Fear of Death
no
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Wed Jul 11 11:46:31 2007
F25 in San Leandro, California =USA=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Prof/Studies: Criminal Justice
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 6 Years ago.
Cause of Death: head injury; Aged: .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
transitioning to another life
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was sad, and in disbelief.
--That first time, how it happened was
My grandmother passed from a head injury.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Thinking that life could have been better for that person. Reflecting
on that persons life and choices that were made.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
The serenity that is felt for the individual after death. The life
that once existed appears as though it is in a better place.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Talking to family about the death. Remembering the person's best
moments.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Seeing others mourn. Seeing loved ones full of sorrow.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
To listen and make the person feel like I understand their
transitioning.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Stayed strong for others who mourned heavily.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
How life can end so fast
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
it was the happy memories that put a smile on my face.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Spend more time with my relative
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Move on and remember the good times spent with my relative.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Family comes together.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
Problems among the family.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I think about loosing another loved one. As I get older I fear
loosing my parents, and siblings.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would be doing more for my relative.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
how my relative lived such an unhappy life"
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
disbelief
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
they did what they could.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Saying goodbye, and putting our relative in the hands of God.
--Religious Affiliation:
Catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
as something that we all must face. Religion is just a way to cope
with the death. Ultimately we all face the same pain and sorrow.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
the amount of people that cared to attend. Who took the time
to attend.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Knowing that I would never see my loved one again.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
The look of death.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
talking and accepting has helped me through my experiences.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Just letting my relative know that they were loved.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I want people to reflect on their own lives. I want them to remember
me for who I was to them and what I may have brought to their lives.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Fear, and sadness is what I feel. I reflect on my life and where
I stand.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
My family was my world. My Parents were my inspiration. My siblings
were my strength. I lived for them. I was blessed to have been
surrounded by loving and caring people. I found love in every aspect
of the word. Up to this day I can say that I lived a great life. I
love everyone who crossed paths with me through out my life and
taught me how to live and believe in the beauty of life.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Talking about it. Not being afraid of asking questions to other
family members about my relative.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Just to be open about death
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
Family bond became tighter.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Helping Other People cope
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Family's Sensitivities
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I reached out by conforting and communicating.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
helpful in thinking about death and the reality of it. Helps to
start the reflection of ones life to live the best life possible.
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See Jun 07 contributions.
See May 07 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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