^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
See Current contributions.
See Oct 06 contributions.
See Sep 06 contributions.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^]x
Tue Nov 21 12:17:04 2006
F20 in apple valley, california =united states=
Name: Jessica Merdith
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Teacher ]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Prof/Studies: student-sciences
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Best Friend, 4 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 19.
--Details:
She didnt tell us she had cancer. she didnt want us to worry about
her, which made it a little hard on us.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the end of your time on earth. i cant explain to you what happens
after becuase i dont really know. i would like to tell you that i
believe we go to heaven. and we meet all the people there that we
knew in our life. that is what lots of people like to believe. though
i have a trong feeling that nothing happend. that when you die,
you are gone. life is over, and there are no more remains of you
except for the impact you left on people's lives.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was a teen. it was hard. i was dealing with a lot of other pressures
at the time and it killed me inside. i became closer with a few
people, but at the same time, i was hating the fact that she didnt
tell me that she knew she was going to die soon.
--That first time, how it happened was
my boyfriend had a friend who i disliked very much. just because
of the fact that she too was once his. after a while i got rid of
the petty arguing and decided she was so extremly integgigent for
the age she was (19). and that i needed a freind like this since i
was stuggling through some hard times. we became so close. while
talking to her in the months that i did, i ha broken up with my
boyfriend, but she still kept in close contact with him. i didnt
mind. i liked that they were still friends. one day my ex called
me crying, telling me that jackie was dead. that she had terminal
cancer, and got really sick. she never told anybody, except for
her family, that she had this. he said that she had left me a poem,
that she wrote right before she died. and i cried so much. i still
think about her everyday, and how much she touched my life. i miss
her dearly, but i know that she is in a better place, watching
over the both of us, just as she said she would. she was always
good with keeping her word.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
that she didnt tell me it was going to happen, the way i found out
(a phone call from and ex-boyfriend), and the poem she left me
and him.
--What I think my (united states) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it is ok. that it happens. that we will live on with the dead
in our hearts.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
that i had a great friend who taught me a lot. who left me with
some knowledge about life that no one else could ever do.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
my ex, and the passing of time.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
that she dissapeared off the face of the earth with the blink of
an eye.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
i love you and care about you. i am here for you, and you are not
alone. i will always be thinking of you.
--[My Best Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
loved her so much that i still think about her daily, but it does not
make me sad. i am happy for her. she is free, and healed, and better.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
she just dissapeared. why didnt she tell me? why didnt she trell
us she was going to the hospital? why did she just have to leave us?
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
find out the truth that she had cancer, and be by her side.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
cope with the death of my best friend.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
i think about my mom or husband dying. those two people mean more
to me than anything on the planet. i hate thinking that one day
they will die. i have a hard time just typing it right now.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
was devistated.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
they die and go to heaven and life is wonderful after death and
you have no more pains.
--Religious Affiliation:
catholic
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
What Helped me most deal with death? Friends' Sensitivities
it took time, support, and love.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Lack of Awareness
i had no idea, i was just gaining a best friend, and i lost her.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wed Nov 15 21:33:35 2006
M44 in brookly,ny, ny =usa=
Name: david hairston
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
actively seeking out online surveys and studies
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Prof/Studies: executive assistant
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Uncle, 25 Years ago.
Cause of Death: long battle with illness; Aged: 69.
--Death Is:
when the soul departs from the physical body. When that body ceases
to function and exist in this plane. It is time that brings on
sadness for the loss and some relief that the person is now at rest.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
felt very sad. I felt as though something, some part of my life
was snatched away from me without warning or my permission. I also
felt angered, questioning why this person had to die.
--That first time, how it happened was
As a teenager I lost an uncle whom I was very close to. I spent
many summers at his home fishing, hunting and traveling. His lost
was significant in my life. I still think of him often, I still
miss him to this day.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
a long period of sadness.
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
inevitable, it is for certain, it is nothing that should be feared.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
my uncle did not have to suffer any longer.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
having my family around and holding on to the memories.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
missing my uncle who I loved so much.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
to make them as comfortable as possible. Remind them not to
be fearful, encourage them to seek out peace. Remind them you
love them.
--[My Uncle's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
dealt with it, how it still affects me today, and how it is okay.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
suddenly he was no longer here. Although I knew it was coming I
still was no totally prepared.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I did not have that urge.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say ggodbye in person.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
somehow move on.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
it occured no one was really ready for it.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I see others having to deal with death.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
We would be together still doing the things we enjoyed. There would
be no suffering.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
why did he have to die.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
block it all out.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
so sad.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
somewhat disappointed.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
a period of sadness, knowing that person was suffering and death
was the only option.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
very little.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
what lives on when the physical body dies.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
Seeing my father cry for the first time.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
having to be strong when I really wanted to just break down.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
regards of anything, you must force yourself to deal with it.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
something he actually looked forward to.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
embrace it do not fear it.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I still miss him dearly and do not know exactly how to resolve it.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
did not experience it.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
it happens quite a bit for me. It is always under enjoyable
circumstances.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Let me go in peace.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
For a very long period of time I was scarred to even think about my
own death, however after seeing loved ones, including my uncles,
aunts, father, and even friends pass on I sort of accept it as a
nature part of my personal evolution.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Loving husband, father and friend. Will be missed by many.
Never hesistated to help those in need.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
to be quiet, at ease and accept it for what it is.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
I still had my parents and my life to live
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Zoning Out
nothing
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
don't know.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
I had to re-think some unpleasant events, I guess it has made it
better for me when dealing with such events in the future.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
there are none.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tue Nov 7 12:34:53 2006
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Other: ]
google.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Good Grief
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
unk
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 7 Years ago.
Cause of Death: natural causes; Aged: 89.
--Details:
lost portions of her memory
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
natural
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was 9years old
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the death of an active member of the church who helped me with
many things
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
the celebration of the life and contributions and failures of a life
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the grace and dignity of wanting to share the love and appreciation
and gratitude for my presence.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
23 psalm read by a clergy
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
isolation and lack of ability to express self
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
call a clergy share holy communion be a non-anxious presence
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
am courious and questioning as modeled by my GM
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
my neighbor was burned over 90% of his body and died 9 dies after
the house fire. I did not respond initially with prayer but
rather shock.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? The Funeral
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Keeping Busy
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thu Nov 2 14:07:09 2006
F Guest in california =united states=
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Teacher ]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Cousin, 4 Years ago.
Cause of Death: drunk/drug drivers; Aged: 23.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
a natural thing to happen either dying of natural causes or accident.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried so much
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
my whole family got together
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
i learn to be strong as a person. i learn so much from him when he
was alive.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
being bussy
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
it was painful to see his family ( which are my cousins) suffer
crying, depressed....
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
think of all the positive things and time you and that person had.
--[My Cousin's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
got motivated to keep going to school to get an education,just like
he was doin
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
none of his friends saw it coming even though they were all there
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
i should of gone outside the mortuarie place and laughed about it.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
let him know how much i cared for him and tht he was my role model
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be there for my other cousins and helped each other over come his
death by remembering good times
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
none of my aunts or any relatives fainted we were all strong.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
holiday season is here, when i go shopping for certain things,
or see certin things it reminds me of him and wish he could be
sharing that moment with all of us
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
if he was still alive so many things would be different, such as;
we would be goin to same college, my cousins woulnt be doing the
bad habits they were havin, and many more.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
yes or "why him" he was so nice, intelligent, a rolemodel, its
just not fair!!!!!
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
could not belive it, why him how, coulnt it be prevented it
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
well he died instanly so, i dont blmae anybody for his death its
just all his destiny and things happen for a reason.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
it really helped, it made us calm and know that by our prayers,he
would get to god, and he could be watchinover us.
--Regarding MONEY:
money wasnt an issue his family are prepared with a piece of
graveyard for any body in the family that would pass out , my aunt
had just bought it, and he was the first to use it. :(
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
some people who were their being hipocrits, aswell as the many
people he touched with his kindness and happy mood and the many
people he was friends with. and care for.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
the thougt that you will never seee that person again, and wonder
if they really do go somewhere...
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
its all part of destiny you just never know when its youre
turn. death knows no age or time.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
it did had an effect
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
he could seeen or been visted by our grandma or our uncle.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
well his mom got in a bad accident and she said that she saw him,
but he told her she should stay because she was still needed and
that he was good.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
i had no isssues with him.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
it was a dream i think it happens because one feels the need to see
that love one and through a dream is the fastes and for sure thing
to happen....and he just said to becareful and he was crying with
all of us in the dream.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
that its part of life.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
i would go to church more get in touch with god more, and ask for
forgivenes to anybody that i hurt...
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
a kind mexican girl who was always willing to care for others ,
she was a people person, responsible for her things...
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
just staying busy, and time process..
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
im more open towards others of how i feel because you never know
when you will see them again
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
his brothers had girlfriends and they got even closer to each
other...
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Keeping Busy
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Passage of Time
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
hugs and remembering him bygoing to his graveyard and leave flowers
and say a prayer
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
yes it helped me think more deep inside death and towards my feelings
about it
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
See Oct 06 contributions.
See Sep 06 contributions.
See Current contributions.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
