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See Current contributions.
See Oct 04 contributions.
See Sep 04 contributions.
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Sun Nov 28 16:18:40 2004
F22 in APPLE VALLEY, CA =US=
Name: NICOLE SHEPHERD
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
Mr. Previte @ Victor Valley Community College Developmental
Psychology Term Project
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Prof/Studies: PRE-MED /NURSING
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 2 Years ago.
Cause of Death: several illnesses over long period of time; Aged: 58.
--Details:
SHE WAS SICK FOR A VERY LONG TIME , AND SHE ALMOST DIED . BUT SHE
GOT BETTER, AND I SHARED A ROOM WITH HER AND HELPED HER. eVENTUALLY
SHE MPOVED OUT AND GOT HER OWN PLACE AGAIN . HER DEATH WAS VERY
SUPRISING.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
A TIME WHEN WE HAVE COMPLETED OUR PURPOSE IN TIME AND GOD HAS
DECIDED TO TAKE US HOME. WE ALL HAVE A ROUTE IN LIFE AND ONCE WE
REACH THE END OUR PURPOSE AND LIE ARE OVER.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
DIDN'T FIND IT SIGNIFICANT . BUT THE FIRST TIME I EXPIRENCED A DEATH
OF SOME ONE CLOSE TO ME IT STILL HAS LEFT A PRESENT IMPACT ON ME.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
EVERYONE THAT MEANT ANYTHING TO ME IN MY FAMILY ALL EQUALLY
DEVASTATED. I WENT TO MY AUNT HOUSE AND HELD HER DEAD BODY TO TELL
HER GOODBYE WHILE CRYING FRANTICALLY.
--What I think my (US) culture needs to better learn about death is:
NOT EVERYONE HAS GOD IN THEIR LIFE AND BELIEVES IN A PURPOSE. NOT
EVERYONE THINKS EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I AM VERY STRONG , TOO STRONG SOMETIMES ,ESPECIALLY WITH MY FAMILY. I
HAD A VERY SPECIAL FRIEND TO SHARE MY PAIN WITH WHO WASN'T HURTING.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
MYSELF. I LIKE SUPPORT BUT I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT UNTIL I AM ALREADY
DONE DEALING WITH MY ISSUES FIRST.HAVING STRENGTH IN MYSELF IS MY
SURVIVAL TECHNIQUE.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
NOT HAVING THAT PERSON THERE TO HELP ME . ONLY MY FEELINGS AND
NEEDS FOR THAT PERSON MADE IT HARD.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
TELLING THE DYING PERSON YOU LOVE THEM AND THAT YOU'LL BE FINE.
--[My Aunt's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
NOTYHING I HAVEN'T LEARNED ANYTHING , ONLY LIES I TELL MYSELF TO
MOVE ON.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I STILL NEEDED THEM AFTER I KNEW THEY WERE GONE.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
SEE HER THE NIGHT BEFORE SHE DIED . ALSO FOR ME DRIVING TO HER
HOUSE AS SOON AS I HEARD TO TELL HER GOODBYE FACE TO FACE.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I KNOW MY PAIN IS PRESENT WITH ME EVERY DAY, THIS SURVEY DOESN'T
IMPACT THAT.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
THAT ALL OF MY FAMILY WAS SAD . MY AUNT WASN'T IN PAIN ANYMORE. YET
WE WERE BECAUSE OF OUR SELFISH WAYS.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
WOKE UP A YEAR LATER IN TEARS BECAUSE I HAD A NIGHTMARE THAT MY
AUNT DIED AND I WAS GRIEVING IN MY DREAM HYSTERICALLY CRYING WHEN
I FINALLY WOKE UP I COULDN'T STOP CRYING.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
THEY ARE INCOMPETENT. MY AUNT WENT IN WITH A LEAKING COLON AND DIED
8 YEARS LATER OF BACK INFECTIONS FROM BEING LEFT IN A WHEELCHAIR
FOR 32 HOURS, VERY SERIOUS BREATHING PROBLEMS , AND MIXING OF
MEDICATIOPN THAT WEAKENED HER HEART.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
THEY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HER . THAT'S WHY WE TOOK HER HOME AND SHE
LIVED FOR 6 YEARS AND DIED IN HER OWN HOME.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ORGANIZED ANYTHING BUT I DO BELIEVE IN GOD AND
HIS PURPOSE.
--Religious Affiliation:
CATHOLIC CHRISTIAN/ PAST I BELIEVE IN GOD/ CURRENT
--Regarding MONEY:
IT DOESN'T MATTER NOR DID IT.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
LETTING ANYONE AND EVRYONE SPEAK WHO NEEDS TO IS VERY IMPORTANT.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I HAVE DELT WITH MY FEELINGS. BUT I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO TELL THEM
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. MY AUNT RAISED ME AND MY BROTHER AND
HELPED US DEVELOPE INTO MATURE ADULTS TODAY.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
WHEN I WENT TO SEE MY DEAD AUNT IN HER BED BEFORE THE AMBULANCE GOT
THERE I WAS CRYING HOLDING HER BODY BUT I DIDN'T FEEL LIMP. IT FELT
LIKE SHE WAS HUGGING ME BACK. I WAS NOT ALONE YET , SO I TALKED TO
HER FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I WANT TO BURRIED. NOT CREAMATED.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I WOULD BE SAD BECAUSE I WANT TO STILL LIVE AND HAVE A FAMILY BUT
IF THE TIME WAS SOON I WOULD BE PLEASED TO KNOW FIRST SO THAT I
COULD COMFORT MY LOVED ONES.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
I LIVED MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND DID THINGS MY WAY.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
WE ALL GET TOGETHER AND CELEBATE , DRINK , EAT AND PARTY THE WAY
THEY WOULD WANT US TO.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Lack of Awareness
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Helping Other People cope
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
IT RECONFIRMED MY SITUATION AND IT'S ACCEPTANCE
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Fri Nov 26 15:23:14 2004
F49 in Victorville, California =USA=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of , Years ago.
Aged:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
no longer exist as breathing, moving, knowing creature
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was 5yrs old
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
when i was 10yrs. old my great aunt died & was quite close to her,
i handle it ok until i looked at my grandma & grandpa & they were
crying & then i lost control of myself & had to leave the room.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
It is a natural process.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the help family support can be
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
all of the above, plus my church
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
no longer seeing the person who died, missing the love they gave me
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say how i felt about them
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
total shock
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Family's Sensitivities
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Tue Nov 23 09:02:56 2004
F34 in Hesperia, CA =USA=
Name: Kenya De Vault
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Found us by: [ Class Project of: ]
Psych project
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Prof/Studies: LVN/ RN student
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Brother, 3 Years ago.
Cause of Death: Platelet disorder; Aged: 29.
--Details:
First diagnosed with anemic disorder that evolved into a platelet
disorder
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
A complete closuer of life that we never return back from.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Was just seventeen and it was my father....i was in such disbelief
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
That would be my brothers death and it was so hard on all of us do
to the fact that he was young and just starting to live his life
and dreams
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it's sometimes the best thing for the person who has died to
pass on due to quality of life issues
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
That my brother is at rest and not sick anymore
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Family and talking freely about all the good times
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
not being able to see,call,or talk to my brother
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
talk about how much you love that person....that is the most
important...let them know what they've meant to you and still mean
to you!
--[My Brother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
was there when he took his last breathe that I realized he had
accomplished all that he sought out to do
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
no confusion at all
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
it was the best thing to laugh out loud...it was something that only
my brother and I knew and i'm sure he laughed to from wherever he was
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Say I love you one more time and hear it back form him
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Lay on his chest till his heart stopped beating and then I was
able to remove all IV's and tubing and clean him up after he had
passed...due to the fact that I am a nurse , the staff at the
hospital let me due that...
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
don't understand this statement
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Things would be better and family get togethers would be the greatest
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
Why my brother why his kids they'll never know how great he
truely was
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
have him here again
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
just pure disbelief
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
I still believe they did all they could...there just was not alot
of information out there on ITP
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
No hospice...death was sudden
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
just knowing that their is a God was good enough
--Religious Affiliation:
christian
--Regarding MONEY:
nothing
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
the whole police squad attending my brothers death
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
nothing
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
the back and forth to the hospital started to become more frequent
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
he said he saw everthing and that he was in other patients room
via moving through walls...but felt he needed to get back to his
room before the nurses realized he was not there
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I still miss him greatly
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Just that I love you little brother you are and will always be one
of the best things that God put in my life
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
it felt so real not like a dream and it was so upseting to be woken
up because it was the best calming feeling I've ever had...it was
like being together again
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
No life prolonging care..death is what we are born for
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
It's scary to think about it but you never know what God has instore
for you and if I die quick thats great but if not I want My husband
there with me till my last breathe
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
She was crazy, she loved, she gave new life and was
compassionate...So many times she saw death and so many times she
was there for others...be there for eachother..give love ,life and
compassion to others..Put a smile on your face for memories and
waste not a day of your life!
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Going on the ITP website and seeing my brothers name posted in the
rememberance section there made me feel like he was still a person
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Crying and Crying
Just remembering everything good about my dad
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Disbelief it could happen
felt like he was away on a business trip
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
Being a nurse that works along with families and hospice ...I've
learned that just showing families that you care and that you have
time to listen with an opened ear is the best thing
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It brought back my brothers death like it was happening all over
again
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Wed Nov 17 18:11:31 2004
F45 in victorville, ca =usa=
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Found us by: [ Class Project of: ]
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Prof/Studies: psychiatric technician
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 25 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 50.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
ultimately a good thing as it is passage from this life to the
ultimate life with Jesus my Lord in heaven- there will be no
suffering , pain or sorrow from that point on.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was so heart broken at my loss
--That first time, how it happened was
favorite aunt died of cancer
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
through my tears- it appared like my aunt smiled- I was stunned ,
stopped crying-and thought i knew she was in heaven.
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
That is it necessary to leave this body to get to our spiritual
Father
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
alcohol and drugs and getting involved in the routine of daily living
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Not having that person around/
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
letting them knowi want to be with them as long as possible
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I0 years later i still did not have closure
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
no laughter
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
dont know
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
?
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
dont know
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
now i think her death was an o.k. thing to happen-
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
i dont get teary eyed about this or about death
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
its gonna be good
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
no
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
its ok now
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
in anguish
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
no problems with med. comm.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
no contact with any of them
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
wasnt as good as a personal relationship withe the Lord
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian/Roman Catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
?
--Regarding MONEY:
financial support is very important to the survivors to help out
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
i was in such grief i dont even know
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
like i stated before the smile i percieved shocked me into a kind
of composre- i think i was hystericalin the beginning
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
n/a
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
go to all events- viewing, masses, funeral etc
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
none
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
no
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
i have good feelings - i feel love
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
?
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
none
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
a cremation is my request, i dont want to be a financial burden,
and i like nature so distribute them some where nice
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I will gladly welcome it- ill miss my family- but i really dont
like this world and the things going on
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
a good person who was helpful to others
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
i went to the graveside several years later as i hadnt attended
the actual funeraland said the things i needed to say and finally
felt closure
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
no
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
no
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Crying and Crying
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Alcohol
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
my family thought i couldnt handle the funeral- so they didnt tell
me about it til after it had happened
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
i had pretty much resolved everything- i forgot i missed the funeral
til just know- its important to me that peple allow themselves
to go thru the entire ritual. I know remember how shocked i was
i wasnt allowed to attend the funeral.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
none
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Mon Nov 15 18:45:50 2004
M49 in victorville, california =usa=
Name: paul george
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 5 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
finalization of our life on earth
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
I thought it was eerie
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the sadness of knowing I would never see her again & thinking of
my own mortality
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
how prescious life is
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
nothing
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
my ability to move forward with my life--thinking that we are all
somewhat on our own in life
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
It was as though a part or chapter in my life ended--the person I
was closest with in childhood is now gone
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
they are going into the unknown-they need the support & strength
of us most
--[My Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
He was involved in a car accident--he was speeding--learned to try
to enjoy life--to be careful
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I hear of children dying--I cannot understand why they are taken
so young
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
my family does joke around during hard times--I think it's fine--a
way to relieve stress
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
talk to her without her being so medicated
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
see her--thank her for being a good mom & kiss her goodbye
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
was the medical care and the pain
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
the funeral arrangements
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I have childhood memories
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
why do we have to die
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
saddness--grief
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
we still have a long way to go--but they try their best with the
inevitable
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
not a whole lot--I question my faith sometimes
--Religious Affiliation:
catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I'm not sure I feel a broader view of spirit--perhaps we use religion
as a excuse to ease our fear of the unknown
--Regarding MONEY:
it was nonexistent--none of my family cared about expenses or money
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
how the process of burying someone is sooo final
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
thinking of the day I will die
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
I was living across country--so I was naive to the fact of the
severity of the situation
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
life go's on--remember the past like a movie & continue to film
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
none that I know of
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
excellent
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I felt bad that I moved so far away & did not have the contact that
I know she would have liked--I would apoligize & tell her I love
her & miss her
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
no
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
that a person should have the right to die
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
yes--I would be very fearful--not ready--soo much to do--bring
up my children & get them on their way in life--I'm not looking
forward to my death
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
really--not concerned about an obituary--really hope that
I touched everyone I ran across with something that helped
them--humor/direction in life & that they remember me for that
one thing
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
none
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
none
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Upbringing
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Denial
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
maybe my situation is much different than what the questionaire is
looking for--such as people emotionally torn over a death--which--has
not happened to me & hope never does
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Sat Nov 6 00:28:41 2004
F35 in North Branch, Michigan =USA=
Name: Darlene Sachs
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
I was upset over a relatives death and looked up "learning to die."
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Prof/Studies: Medical Transcriptionist
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 9 months Years ago.
Cause of Death: Complications of 4 surgeries in less than 2 weeks.; Aged: 83.
--Details:
My grandfather was a hard working man right until he was put in the
hospital by family members because of an ulcer on his leg that caused
a serious infection. The plan was to first put in a pacemaker because
my grandpa had (for his whole life) had a slow heart rate. In just a
few days, docs didn't think that was good enough, so they amputated
his leg. Then two more surgeries were done, which did him in. After
the amputation, he begged us to remove him from the hospital because
he knew they were gonna kill him. He still has one sister alive
(age:93), and a brother (age:91), so I know he had more life to live.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
frightening and painful.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
had nightmare's and still do occasionally.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the sorrow felt by everyone present because the suffering was so
hard to watch.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
it was not his time to go. I believe he was purposely over-medicated
and starved. The day hospice arrived at the hospital, they took all
his food and water away and started heavy medications. He died less
than 4 hours after hospice took over.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
The hallucinations, the weird breathing. I caught myself physically
trying to "breathe" for him. He was so dehydrated that his tongue
was splitting apart. It was aweful.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
get grandma to move him to a better hospital.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
horror and disbelief.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Hospice overdosed him. I would never use this service.
--Religious Affiliation:
Pennicostal.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Never have a living will. Get someone you truely trust and give
them durable power of attorney.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I don't want to suffer, but I don't want my death hastened either.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
I find myself wanting all the information about death that I can
get my hands on because I am scared and want to make sure I do not
suffer like my grandpa did; orto be sure not to fall into the hands
of hospice.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Prayers
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Another Death
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Fri Nov 5 16:04:09 2004
F18 in Hesperia, CA =USA=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
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Prof/Studies: College Student
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, Sept. 29, 2004 Weeks ago.
Cause of Death: Pulminay failure; Aged: 67.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
just the end of our time on Earth.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was very hurt and confused but knew that God had his reasons.
--That first time, how it happened was
It was my grandmother whom I was very close with and considered
to be one of my best friends and role models. She was heathy but
suddenly got very sick. It was 3 weeks exactly from her first day of
not feeling well until the day we had to take her off life support.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
how unreal everything felt and how the family just pulled together.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it is not an end but more of a begining.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
how much it pulled our family together and the memories it really
reminded all of us that we had basically forgotten.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Alot of different things. Friends, going to the beach, and my
family.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Knowing I didn't have one of my best friends to talk to everyday
anymore.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Don't worry about the same things and don't fight over stupid and
insignificate things.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Remember to always tell people how u feel cause they may not be
there the next day to tell them. Everytime you see someone there
is the possiblity that may be your last.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
why did I get the chance to have that time with her before everything
happened when no one else really did?
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
see her more these past few years
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
spend that week with her the week before she got sick.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
seeing her in the hospital or after she had passed.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Something great happens that she would love but I can't call and
tell her. She used to get so excited about things for me.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
She was too young and heathy. We had plans of what would happen
after my grandfather passes that she would move closer. She was
not suppose to go first.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Get away from everything.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
wanted to call and tell her about my day and I couldn't.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
frustration. Why didn't they catch it sooner? Why did we have to
ask about it for them to find it and would it have made a difference?
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Some peace and offered comfort
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
we truely have one.
--Regarding MONEY:
Eating out between the hospital and home and the change of income
for my grandfather.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
we didn't have a funeral
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Wearing some of her things that I can see her wearing.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
My faith helped me through it.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
She looked like she wasn't even in her body the last two days. It
didn't even look like her really anymore
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I was lucky enough to that everything was good when she passed and
that I had resolved issues before she even got sick.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would want to tell her about filming my first movie and going
Europe. Both are things that she always wanted me to do and she
would be extrememly excited about.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I have so many but just one would be about 2 weeks after my
grandmothers death she was in my dream. She just basically said,
I miss you all and love you guys but everything is okay and will
be okay. It felt so real and I rememeber it crystal clear.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
She never wanted people to cry and fuss over her. We went through
her things immediately after her passing cause we knew that would
have been what she wanted. Just to get things done and over with
and not to have to think about it and fuss over it.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I just hope that I die happy and with things left unsaid to those
I love. I don't want anyone to not know exactly how I feel.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Best way for me to cope is just going to the beach. Sitting there
looking out at the waves crashing on the sand just has a way of
relaxing me and helping me be at peace with everything.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
Me and my cousin got much closer. She is much younger then me but
we spent alot of time together and talking more.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
It was alot of factors that helped me to deal. My friend, my faith,
and knowing that I had gotten some last time with her before she
got sick.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Disbelief it could happen
It was so sudden that none of us were expecting it.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
My grandfather used me to get through things. It was always the
three of us so things for me and him were very different then
everyone else.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
not really. I have dealt with it and am doing well on my own.
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See Oct 04 contributions.
See Sep 04 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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