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See Current contributions.
See Apr 08 contributions.
See Mar 08 contributions.
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Mon May 26 04:34:59 2008
M56 in Amsterdam, =The Netherlands=
Name: John Ricker
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Google search on talking to dying friends
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
A reckoning by May Sarton., The True Work of Dying by Miriam
Schneider and Jan Bernard
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 32 Years ago.
Cause of Death: leukemia; Aged: 50.
--Details:
MY dad had been in treatment for Multiple myeloma for 5 years (chemo
in the early 70's). I had gotten used to him having chemo every month
or so and did not fully appreciate that he was still quite sick. I
did not expect him to die at any time soon and I believe that most
other family members expected many more good years for him.
My
youngest sisters had just started college when my Dad died, I was
25. I know my parents were looking forward to a new phase in their
lives with and "empty nest" and more time for each other. My mother
was devastated. Somehow my 5 brothers & sisters and I intuitively
knew that we needed to arrange that one of us could stay in our home
town with our mother for the first few months (that turned into
the first year). Only when she died 18 years later (in 1995) did
we find documents revealing just how depressed she was at that time.
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--Death Is:
frightening and unkown. TO many of us unspeakable.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried just a bit (Boys don't cry)
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The feeling of finality.
My father's death also had the effect
of bringing my Mother, brothers and sisters and I much closer to
one another.
--What I think my (The Netherlands) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it is part of life. That it can be spoken of and shared. That
we need to share it.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
How my mother involved all of her children in her death and dying.
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How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
My borthers & sisters and mother all bonded closely in delaing with
Dad's death
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Other:
My girlfriend did not attend the memorial service.
M56 in Amsterdam, =The Netherlands=
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Thu May 22 09:35:15 2008
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
psychology class term paper
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 4 Years ago.
Cause of Death: blood disorder; Aged: 35.
--Details:
well it was a sudden death. I knew she going to die. I just did
not believe it till it happend
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--Death Is:
I would describe it to be a very long sleep
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was hurt. and I was very fearful about life.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
not wanting to go to the funeral. and being in denial.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
to remember death more offten.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
accepting my mortality.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
receiving support from family.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
accepting death as a reality.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
being there for the persong and holding their hand.
--[My Aunt's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
to prepare for death.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
providing support for my aunts daughter.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I don't fear death any more. I live a very happy life.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
to spend more time with my aunt.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
accept my aunts death.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
acknowledges death and accepts it as part of life.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
when I think off losing my husband. I love him so much I cant ever
think of losing him.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I know that its all a dream and its good while it lasts.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
to lose someone so close to you without saying good bye.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
hold my aunt and tell her I love you.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I was very shocked and scared.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
I didn't have a postive experience in the Medical community. I was
very disapointed in them.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
religion means so much to me. Its a way of life.
--Religious Affiliation:
Islam.
--Regarding MONEY:
I didn'r deal with any money issues.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
The sadness i felt. the pain everyone was feeling.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
dealing with death and realizing my view on death.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
don't look for signs. love and cherish your loved ones every day
of your life.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
prayer helped me cope better than I thought.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I not aware of anything in that nature.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
Nothing like that ever happened to me.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I believe in forgiving and forgeting past issues.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would like to hug my aunt and tell her I love you.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
Nothing like that ever happened to me or anyone i know.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
my Will. and having my kids well taken care off.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
that would chang my behavior toward life.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
I'm realy not so interested in obituaries.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
praying is how I coped.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
praying, and not being so afraid of death and living life.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I became very close with my aunts daughter, and we've build a more
intimid friendship.
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How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Prayers
ditsraction
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? My Belief System
helping others cope
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
Helping my family cope with death and staying strong for them.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
expresing my fealings toward death was a very good experience.
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Wed May 21 16:57:46 2008
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Other: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 4 Years ago.
Cause of Death: leukemia; Aged: .
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How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Crying and Crying
faith
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Fear of Death
denial
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Wed May 21 15:23:17 2008
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
yahoo search
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 18 Years ago.
Cause of Death: breast cancer; Aged: 34.
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How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Dissociation
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Zoning Out
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Tue May 20 18:13:36 2008
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Class Project of: ]
Developmental psycology
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Cousin, 8 Months ago.
Cause of Death: seizure; Aged: 21.
--Details:
The seizure lasted so long it deprived him of oxygen.
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--Death Is:
There is a time in ones life where a person has fulfilled their
time on earth and it is their time to pass on.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
eleve years old gathered around my grandparents house with close
relatives. We were talking and catching up when the phone wrang. My
grandfather answered the phone and that is when the whole family
found out of the death.
--That first time, how it happened was
The death was a close relative that I was staying the summer with.
I noticed that there was something wrong when her feet started to
swell and she was unable to get out of bed. I was the person that
let people aware that something was wrong.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
We think about the good things that happened as well as the good
experiences. We looked at the positive side of things that they
were no longer in pain, they also had fulfilled their life and try
and imprint what they did and how they helped people and hope that
I will do the same with my life.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
The understanding of death and that it isn't the end of our world.
It may be the end of the person who died but that is no reason for
others to stop living.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I am grateful enough to have lived on this earth. To me it is a
privilege to do so. Yes it is hard to deal with but it is worth
it in the end.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
For me it is family members that help me they make me realize that
we still have to live and move on with our own life's. We each
choose to live them and I want to live mine in my own way and time.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The timing was the hardest part. My cousin just had had his 21st
birthday. He had died 2 weeks after. What hit at the heart of
thins is that he is younger than myself. I also had just talked
with him a few days prier to him dying.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
That no matter what god will be there for them.
--[My Cousin's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Even though he died at a young age he still touched so many peoples
hearts. He was the type of person that was there anytime someone
needed him no mater if he was having problems his self. He always
put others first. His short time here with us was a remarkable
time that those who knew him will never forget.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
That such good people leave before they can reap the benifits of
what they planted.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
Just remembering about the good times and the funny times.
Remembering them the way that they wanted to be remembered!
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
I just wished that I could have been closer to him like I was when
we where when we where younger.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
After not talking for a very long time or even seeing each other
we stated talking to each other again just a few months before he
had died.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Realizing that they were dead. I gave me a different look on life
in knowing that not everyone lives till they die of old age thing
sometimes happen that isn't in our control.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
I don't seem to remember but I do know that people are different.
With that in mind I know that everyone will have there own opinions
on what is important and not.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I know that I haven't dealt with it in ways that others deal with
death. I never felt like crying but a little. I know that they
are in a better place and they are not suffering any more on earth.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Never think about it.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
There is one word that does come to mind that that is "why?"
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I have a relative that named their hamster after my cousin. So
when I heard the name I first thought that it was the hamster.
When I finally realized it wasn't I thought "no, this is a joke".
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
The medical community did what they could we found out that he had
stopped taking him medication when could have stopped the seizes.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
A way to find answers.
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
--Regarding MONEY:
money was not the issues.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
The turn out of people who's lives were touched through this
one person.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Life still moves on with out them.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
He died in his sleep. there were no real signs that he was going
to die.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
I did not follow all the stages of the grieving process.
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What Helped me most deal with death? Helping Other People cope
My support in everything
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Keeping Busy
If I kept myself busy it didn't happen.
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Sun May 18 18:29:33 2008
M20 in Victorville, Ca =us=
Name: Nitopio
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Prof/Studies: psychology
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Neighbor, Weeks ago.
Cause of Death: heart attack; Aged: .
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--Death Is:
to move on after life.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
when i was 12, didnt know how to react
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
when it hurted the most
--What I think my (us) culture needs to better learn about death is:
to accept it and move on
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
knowing the person before they died
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
accepting there gone
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
they left me
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
people smell
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How'd I do? Adequate
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories to hold
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
help me please
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Sat May 17 07:14:44 2008
M Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of BoyFriend, Months ago.
Aged:
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How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Alcohol
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Guilt
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See Apr 08 contributions.
See Mar 08 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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