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Mon Jan 28 15:46:40 2008
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 2 Months ago.
Cause of Death: Cancer; Aged: 60.
--Details:
She was ill with a cold and thought she had mucus stuck in her
throat, after seeing 5 doctors over 3 months she got refered to
hospital finally, she went on holiday to las vegas as the appointment
was 3 weeks away, she fell ill and was admitted to hospital where
they found a large tumour on her chest. She died 10 days later.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
The end of what you know. Its very cruel and painful and has no
mercy on who it decides to take.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
didnt understand as i was only 6 years old
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The pain of losing someone you love is unbearble and doesnt go away,
it creeps up on you and reminds us all how precious life is.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
Im grateful for my memories I suppose.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Talking to family
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Not seeing that person ever again and clearing mums stuff is
really hard.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Hope and being positive, talking about the future.
--[My Mother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
didnt realise how important she was to me. i hope she knew.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
fly over to see her before she died
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
talk to her every day and tell her I loved her.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
im watching tv, watching my kids etc
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
my mum was a good person so why did she have to die, she wasnt even
that ill.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
go back in time 12 months and rescue her
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Panic stricken
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
My mum went to the doctors 5 times and they didnt do anything except
give her anti biotics, this was discusting
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
she didnt go to a hopsice
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
nothing
--Religious Affiliation:
none
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
no views at the moment
--Regarding MONEY:
money wouldnt have saved her life.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
it was a great celebration with lots of family and friends and
beautiful flowers
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
dont know
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
none
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I feel my mums presense at my times, she had a strong character
and pyscic ability. She always said that she has been here before
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
no
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
No unresolved issues, thank god.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
no
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
The night she died lights and shapes lit up the bedroom ceiling
and danced over me, i felt love and warmth and felt she was saying
goodbye.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
nothing as mum didnt know she was dying
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
It the fear of the ones you leave behind as death can be an end
to suffering.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
not going to do that, far too morbid
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Nothing has helped much as its still quite soon.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
My life goes on, we are going to move house, hopefully
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
Mums friends have called a lot which gives me comfort
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
What Helped me most deal with death? Funeral and Rituals
I visited him in the nursing home a lot before he did and came to
terms with it
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Knew it was coming
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
quite useful as i know im not alone in grief
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Wed Jan 23 22:55:28 2008
F25 in Gulfport, MS =United States=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: elementary teacher
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More personal info:
doesn't matter
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Ex-, 5 Days ago.
Cause of Death: accident; Aged: 25.
--Details:
He died in an accident from drinking and driving without wearing
a seatbelt. He got into an arguement with his fiance, went out to
the casino, and got in an accident at 2am. He has a 6 year old
daughter. This man, Joseph, was the guy I lost my virginity to
(which wasn't a big deal) and was my first true love (which is why
I think I am affected by this so much) We dated when we were 15-17
years old for over two years. We were together everyday allday. He
would ride his bicycle to my house every morning (a 45 min. trip)
to walk me to school.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Being alone by myself
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
I don't know why I was affected so deep. I have seen him once in
8 years(at a grocery store 3 years ago). Was it because he was my
first love? Was it because we were like best friends? Was it because
I am not as happy now as I was then? Was it because I felt that we
should have been together? Would I be this upset if my fiance died?
--[My Ex-'s] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
felt. That life could end tomorrow so no one should stop you from
doing what you want to do. I learned that I don't really want to
be with my fiance. I am not happy like I was. This is not love. I
cannot open up to him without being judged. I don't think I ever
loved my fiance, especially the way I have loved before
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
I probably would have slept with him one last time, even though I
am engaged and have never cheated.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
experience love so great in my lifetime, that some nver experience
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I read a poem I wrote and get teary eyed every time. Every night
for the last five days when I last my head down I cry, trying to
hide it from my fiance. It has been really hard on me. I feel so
obligated to be there for his family. His sister has told me she
thinks me and him were meant for each other. She hates his fiance
and blames her for it. His sister says he was not happy and this
was God's way of letting him escape. He was buried in this graveyard
that we used to park his car in and make love (even in the same spot-
there weren't even people in that area 10 years ago).
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
It's not fair. He and his family are good people. They mean good
for people and never hurt anyone. They all go out of their way to
help people. They also lost their house during Katrina.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
be with him when I die. or that I could break it off with my
fiance. Maybe I am supposed to realize that if I am not happy,
I shouldn't feel trapped because of the child- just like he did.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Couldn't believe it, it doesn't seem real. Perhaps because I haven't
seen him in so long
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I keep talking to him, as though he can hear me.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
Everyone was close to him at one time or another. There were so
many young people there
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would want to tell him how he helped make me the caring person
I am today.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
My close family would say I wasn't as happy as I could be. They
would say I have changed. I never realized these things until now.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I once slept with a friend of his after we broke up- he didn't
care. Later the guy became his best friend. I have thought I would
feel connected if I became friends with him again. He is a great
friend to have. Is this healthy? If any sexual relations were to
occur, should I stop them, should I feel guilty?
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I am reaching out to his younger sister. She calls me all the
time. She is also reaching out to me. She and her other brother
say I brought so much joy and happiness to their brother's life.
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See Dec 07 contributions.
See Nov 07 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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