I loved you when you smiled, I loved you when we fought, I loved
you when we had forever, I loved you when we parted, I loved you then, I
love you still, I did what you wanted when it was time to get over each
other, the last time we talked I didn't say much, because you didn't want
to hear me ask you to come back to MI, I didn't ask if I would see you
again, I didn't tell you what I felt until you said you missed me, and then
I told you I missed you too, those were our last words on the telephone,I
did what you had wanted, for me to get over you and let you move on, I said
I would call, you also promised to call me. 

and then the phone rang less then a week later, you took your own life,
back here in MI, less the 10 minutes from where we made love all those
times. so tell me now what do I ? I can't hold on, and I can't let you go.
because I never got over you, I just did what you wanted.

if your spirit continues, can't I still love you ? 

would it upset you ?

and if you are truely gone, then how can I pretend and forget you were
really here ?

you did exist, and no one knew,

now you are gone and know one knows.

I don't blame you for leaving, you did what you had to do, I blame myself
only for doing what you wanted me to do and not paying attention in your
time of need,

if I wasn't so busy trying to do what you wanted and get over you, then
atleast you would have known I failed and never did. looks like I screwed
up when you were alive and now I will screw up when your dead,

I love you Teresa, I miss you, your like sand in my hand, I am trying so
hard to hold on, but, it slips through my fingers, you existed, you
laughed, got mad, felt pain, made love, had hopes and dreams, you were
real, and now your gone. I loved you then, I love you now. tell me what you
want me to do, so I can at least fail at that too.