Date: Tue, 19 Dec 1995 22:50:21 -0500
Subject: Timmy

On Memorial Day, 1995, our son drown. He was 22 months old. Actually, he lived for 3 more days and then died on June 1st. His name is Timmy.

I'm not sure how much you would like to know. It feels like years have past and it has only been months. So much has happened. I have been keeping a log. Every now and then I write about what is going on and how I feel. A support group called "Compassionate Friends" has suggested keeping such a log so that I may look back at the days or months and see how I have progressed in my grief. I have seen myself getting back into life, but now we face our first Christmas without him and I feel as if I have moved back a step or two.

Yes, I have had some strange experiences along with a new friend I contacted a couple months after my son died. She is another mother who lost her child, age 3, to drowning. There is so much I could write, but I would like to know what you will be using this for. Will it help others?

I would like to say that I have been reading many books on grief, but the ones that have helped me the most are books such as Dr. Moody's "Life after Life". I know I have not died and been revived, but sometimes I feel just as aware of life and death as those who have. When you have lost someone so precious to you, you must find out the truth (i.e.: Is there a God? Where do people go when they die? Is there really something after this life? Are we responisble for everything that happenes to us?). So I have searched for answers. I believe most people do not. They may think about life after death once in a great while, but it is not paramont to them to seek the truth. I do, and I seek the truth every day.

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