Age:[ 51 ] Gender:[ F ]

	Mom, as you lay dying next to me two weeks ago, did you hear me 
say "Thank You" for being my Mom for 51 years?  Did you hear me
tell you how beautiful you are and how much I love you?  Did you 
sense my despair at the knowledge that I was losing you?  Did you
feel my hand holding yours and feel my lips kiss your forehead?  
Did you know I was there and  that there was no place on this 
earth that I would have rather been then right by your side?  Did you
know that my heart was breaking as I told you that it was okay for
you to go?  Did you know that was the hardest thing I've ever done
in my life and also the easiest?  Did you hear me ask for your for-
giveness and extend mine to you?  Did you hear me say that I know
you loved me though I knew you could no longer tell me so?  Did you
hear me say that I would take care of Dad and my sisters?  

Mom, did I help you to leave this life of pain and suffering?  Did my
being at your side make it easier for you to go?  Did you know that I was
proud of you and that you were the best Mom a kid could have?  Did you
know that I can barely make it through an hour without thinking of you? 

On your birthday two days ago, I cried for the card and gift I 
couldn't give to you and for the lunch I couldn't take you to.
Did you know that when Mother's Day comes this year that I
wish I could go to sleep on Saturday and wake up on Monday
so that I don't have to face a Mother's Day without you?

Did you know that I am grateful that your pain and suffering is
over and that a merciful God has called you home?  Did you
know that even though I miss you desperately that I would not
will you back to this life if it meant you had to suffer for one more
minute?  Did you know that I welcome the pain of losing you in
exchange for the pain you endured  to stay with us?

Did you know that I will be eternally grateful for the love, caring,
and sacrifices you made for all of your children?  For the clothes
you washed by hand and hung out in the dead of winter.  For
the times you said you weren't hungry so there would be more
for us to eat.  For all the lessons you taught us about life and
looking for the best in others.  For the nights you didn't sleep 
until we were all safely home.  For all the wonderful holidays
you made for us.  For more things than you can ever imagine
that I remember, Mom, I thank you and I will cherish you and
honor you all the days of my life.  Rest in peace dearest Mother
and trust me to keep my promises to you.

                    With my eternal love and devotion,



                    Your Firstborn