HTML> WWW.BARDO.ORG Contrib: "O'Doyle" Rules
By: Trish <>
Mon Jul 10 12:48:58 2000
"O'Doyle" Rules
The shock of a suicide
By Trish
Location: Lockport IL US

Age:[ 17 ] Gender:[ F ]

	As I look back to junior high I remember a skinny, funny little boy
that was so cute that everyone had to love him.  He was a year older than
me and his name was Daniel Doyle.  He was invovled in track and was such a
busybody.  I lost touch with him though as we entered highschool.  I
actually never even seen him until my junior year. 

We had gym class together and we immediatly became really close again. 
When we played frisbee in class his nickname was O'Doyle and everyone would
be saying "O'Doyle Rules!!"  He lived only a couple blocks away from me and
since I already hung out with older people we started spending alot of time
together.  Soon he graduated and was headed off to Eastern Illinois
University.  He couldn't wait. 

I was happy for him eventhough I knew I'd really miss him.  During that
year that he was away I never went to go see him because my parents weren't
too big about me visiting a college.  When Danny would come home we'd
always hang out.  He was the perfect friend.  We'd go shopping, go to
parties together, sit and chill in his basement.  He always knew how to
make me laugh and eventhough I wouldn't see him for long periods of time,
nothing ever changed.

The last time I saw Danny was Saturday,April 22, the day before Easter.  He
was home on his spring break.  I didn't call him that day like I normally
did.  I just happened to run into him at a mutual friends house.  He had
told me he went shopping that day and I felt hurt that he didn't call me to
come along.  I overlooked the importance of the situation and we agreed to
go the day he came home for summer vacation in two weeks.

The following Sunday,April 30th (the day after my prom), I received a phone
call around 8:15 p.m.  It was my friend Mike asking me if I had heard what
happened and if it was true or not.  I had no clue what he was talking
about and he explained to me what happened.  Danny had been at a party the
previous night and was strangely doing a lot of drugs.  Instead of
returning to his buddies room as they normally do around 3 or so, he went
to his room, cut up his bedsheets, grabbed his bible and hung himself in
the showers.  The only clue anyone ever heard him say was "I really screwed
up this time."  

I went numb and didn't know what to say.  But what was Mike talking
about?-- this wasn't Danny Doyle.  He was probably THE most happiest person
I had ever been friends with.  He never at any time did I know him talk
negative about anyone let alone himself.  We had so many plans and he had
seemed so happy with his frat buddies at EIU.

I think the hardest part about this death was that I still (and will
probably never) understand what happened.  I just wish he had talked to me
or anyone for that matter.  Danny had ALOT of friends and not even one of
them even had an incling of what he was feeling inside.  Maybe he was
hiding something deep down inside and we all just assumed that he was happy
inside too.  He's the only one who knows.  Almost everyday I can't help but
to sit down and think about the situation.  I miss him so much and it hurts
that I never got to say good-bye to him.  A suicide is probably the hardest
death to get over, next to a freak accident, because its not like someone
being in the hospital when you can prepare yourself for their death.  With
a suicide, one minute he's here and the next thing you know I'm looking at
my best friend lying dead in a casket.  In a way, I feel mad that that's
the road he chose to follow and that he never mentioned anything to me.  To
help myself get over it I like to cry sometimes but mainly I like to look
at all the pictures of me and him having fun together and think about all
the things we did.

                  <3I LOVE YOU DANNY!!!<3

-- Trish . . . [ ]

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