Age:[ 37 ] Gender:[ F ]

	To all daughters, Don't ever feel guilty. Know that you did the best
you could do. Here is my story....  One year ago today, April 21, my mother
became ill. May 21, 1998, she passed away.  I embrace these days as much as
they hurt.  Silly as it seems I never thought my mother would ever die, the
thought of it alone was unthinkable. Nobody knew my mom's heart was failing at
the time, not even her doctor. She eventually had to be put on life support. 
This was all a shock. I am sharing this with you today to bring you hope and
to share my faith in the Lord. To continue, I was told that we would probably
have to shut the life support machine off because all the heart medication in
the world was not helping her, I was told she would not survive. Ok, I don't
believe in letting anyone suffer and my mom had suffered for the last three
weeks. That Sunday I prayed, I prayed that if God was calling her to please
let her get off life support long enough to come home, be with her family, and
die peacefully. That Monday afternoon she was taken off life support, she was
actually breathing on her own. God had answered my pr ayers. I thought maybe
she might live, but I was wrong, fluid started to fill up in her lungs and
reality hit me again. Tuesday night was the last time I heard her voice, she
said "I Love You". Wednesday morning I requested that she be brought home on
Hos pice. The rest of my family objected at first because they were scared. I
did it anyway. It was the greatest gift I could give my mom. She had a
morphine pump and I controlled it (she was not going to suffer). I was with
her every moment. She died Thursda y night at 10:30 pm peacefully and pain
free. My Dad was holding her hand and the whole family was there. As painful
as it was for me, the greatest gift I could give her was my love and I did. 
She will never suffer again, and I know someday I will see he r again. I thank
God for the time he gave my Mother on this earth, and for her love that will
live on forever. Through her death I am stronger, I love unconditionally, and
I don't try to fix life, I embrace each moment. I am doing something I never
dreame d I'd do. I am now a Hospice Volunteer, I help other families deal with
my similar situation and I help people die in peace and with dignity. It is
the most rewarding experience I have had in my life. I would have never
thought. Had it not been for my mom 's death, I would never have the courage
to reach out like this. Thank you Mom. I love you and miss you dearly.

I encourage all daughters to reach out to someone and share your love, pain,
and experience. It is the greatest gift. May the Lord Bless You. And
remember..... 

This world is not conclusion,
A sequel stands beyond,
Invisible, as music,
But positive, as sound.
       EMILY DICKINSON