Age:[ 45 ] Gender:[ F ]
How can I grieve when I can't accept you are gone. You were always there when I was troubled or in pain. You were the one I turned to for advice and praise. You were a constant in my life and nothing has been the same since you died. I feel that I am frozen inside. You taught me the most important things in life are to be honest to yourself and kind to other people. You taught me to strive to be the best I could and not accept limitations others might put on me. As you died, you apologized for not being a good enough father to give me all the material things I wanted. I tried to tell you that what you had given me was a strong base for my life and the confidence to decide how I wanted my life to be. I hope you were able to understand me. I know you were experiencing delirium, but I pray I got through during one of your "sane" moments. Although I may not have always achieved what I strove for, you constantly assured me that I had won because I had the courage to try for something. I miss you desperately and honor you as best I can by trying to continue living as you had taught me. I love you Dad and hope there really is an after life so I can be with you again. As you were dying you told me you wouldn't ever really leave me, that if I whispered your name in my heart I would find you there. Sometimes it actually does work. I hope you have found peace. Your final struggle against cancer was terrible and I am sorry I couldn't have helped you more as you were dying.
Fri Jul 24 18:39:32 1998 back to other Contributions page