By: Mary Ellen <DulgeroffME=at=MSX.UPMC.EDU>
Fri Jul 24 18:39:32 1998
He was a special man
My father
By Mary Ellen
Location: Pittsburgh PA US

Age:[ 45 ] Gender:[ F ]

	How can I grieve when I can't accept you are gone.  You were always
there when I was troubled or in pain.  You were the one I turned to
for advice and praise.  You were a constant in my life and nothing
has been the same since you died.  I feel that I am frozen inside.
You taught me the most important things in life are to be honest to
yourself and kind to other people.  You taught me to strive to be
the best I could and not accept limitations others might put on me.
As you died, you apologized for not being a good enough father to give
me all the material things I wanted.  I tried to tell you that what you
had given me was a strong base for my life and the confidence to decide
how I wanted my life to be.  I hope you were able to understand me.
I know you were experiencing delirium, but I pray I got through during
one of your "sane" moments.   Although I may not have always achieved
what I strove for, you constantly assured me that I had won because I
had the courage to try for something.  I miss you desperately and honor
you as best I can by trying to continue living as you had taught me.
I love you Dad and hope there really is an after life so I can be
with you again.  As you were dying you told me you wouldn't ever
really leave me, that if I whispered your name in my heart I would
find you there.  Sometimes it actually does work.  I hope you have
found peace.  Your final struggle against cancer was terrible and I
am sorry I couldn't have helped you more as you were dying.

-- Mary Ellen . . . [ DulgeroffME=at=MSX.UPMC.EDU ]

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