Mom, I miss you so very very much.  It has been two and a half weeks
since you left me and I ache for you so much.  I feel like I am grasping at
anything to feel close to you.  I wear your clothes, your perfume, your
lipstick, your socks.  I sleep with your picture next to my bed with your St.
Anne prayer beads draped over your sweet smiling face.  Whatever am I going to
do without you in my life?
  I just want you to know that I am so proud of how you faught this sinister
disease we call cancer.  You never gave up hope until the day before you died,
when I gave you permission to stop fighting.  The hardest thing I ever had to
do was tell you it wa s OK, that I would be OK, that your beloved Brian would
be OK too.  John misses you too. 
  It is so sad that you won't get to meet your grandchild, but everyday I rub
my belly and say that your Meme loves you and she wanted to know you more than
anything...I'm sorry that dream never came true for you Mom.  I'm even more
sad that my baby will never know the joy of having you in his/her life.  Like
you, your grandchild will be robbed of so many beautiful things. 
  I hope and pray that you will reach out to me somehow, whether it is by
touch, by spirit, by dream, by telepathy...anyway you can, please know that I
am waiting for you.  I am not afraid to die, Mom, because that means that I
will be reunited with you i n the wonderful place you are now embracing God's
love and peacefullness.  Thirty years was not enought time for us - Fifty
years was not enough for you.  Oh sometimes, I feel angry that you were taken
away, but God chooses the angelic ones so I guess you
 fit right in. 
   I love you Mom and I always will and I will never stop talking to you and I
promise you this, your grandchild WILL know you - I'll make sure of that. 

Your loving daughter.